TRUE OR JUST A BIT OF A WHITE LIE by Mark Antony Raines.Comedy Friendly Zombie Productions 2019..Free Book

True or just  a little bit of a white  lie by Mark Antony Raines. PROLOGUE..                                                                                        Have you ever talked about a subject in your life that  is true  but you  sightly exerate it to make it sound a lot more interesting. Well that's the basis of my lastest free book  via my blog account Ghostman. Why you  may wish to ask  well the last one was very well received  and the audio book version was a hit so why not. I hope you enjoy the following. Thanks for your support.                                                                                        TIDDLES                                                                                             After  searching  for  my lost cat Tiddles the  third; a black and white  tabby  cat with  one ear on the left side  which  as a torn earlobe due a fight  with a fellow  cat and he was the third  in line of Tiddles as the over two died of old age. Tiddles saunters into the  house  as nothing  had happened  and was not at least  worried that  he had been gone  at least  a month. Tiddles does look  rather  plump  for  a cat to have  survived  on just  scraps, he must  have  found  someone  to take  pity on  him. So I made  up Tiddles bed and give him a saucer of milk and a quick  cuddle and  a kiss and  I went  upstairs  to bed happy  in the knowledge  that  my Tiddles was  home. As I  lay in my bed getting  ready  to enter  the  land of dreams  I heard  an almighty crash  and someone  one shouting  out obscene words. I sat bolt  upright  and put on my pjs and run downstairs  to  investigate.  To my complete and stunned  surprise  my cat Tiddles  was sitting  upright  reading  the paper  with  a broken  cup on the  floor. Tiddles  then spoke (Sorry  old bean about  the  mess keep  forgetting  that  cat paws have  no thumbs, by the  way, thanks for the milk) I stood  with  my mouth  open  and stuttered out (H o w are y o u able  to  talk) Tiddles goes on to tell  me how  when  he was missing  he was found  at death  door  by a aging  mad scientist  who  then took him to his laboratory  to do some testing for  his  newest  experiment  of mind transference; swapping  of brains in layman  terms .But  something  went  horribly  wrong  as due to a lighting  it mashed  up the two brains in one.When I woke  said Tiddles  I was part  cat part mad scientist and very  hungry. I resisted  for  two  days  but the man part took  over  and eat the cadaver  that  was  him over the last  few days  hence  why I am  so plump.I knew I would  be  safe  here  at home  with  you my owner.I stood  in  awe and said  (ok I  you  are  back as long as you  don't  eat me)Tiddles  smiles and purrs as he is content  and full until  he is hungry  again.                                                     SEUESS IS NO WRITER OF CHILDRENS BOOKS  NO MORE                                                 Doctor  Seuss  has grown  weary of writing  children  books he in the Crown Court  these  days; his new job  is as a reporter  for the Daily  Rag covering  the grisly  world  of crime  and found  new work  as a reporter  covering  crime ,with  relish  he listens especially  to the more gory tales.The court case  today involves a man named  Tim who stole a tin of Beans and when he was caught  smashed  the can on the security  guards  head leaving  him for dead . Doctor  Seuss  likes his  new job  as no longer  writing  for  those  horrible  brats and it much more  fun covering      the  crime  as it great  to  see  the bad guys  end up doing  time.                                                                                  ODYSSEY OF THE MISSING COFFEE  CUP                                                                   It  all  started  when  Sam favourite  coffee  mug goes missing  from  the  office  canteen, it was his favorite  mug as it had have  a nice  day  before  some idiot  ruins it.   Sam haunts high  and low  without  a hint  of  where  the coffee  mug was  ,Sam became  more obsessive  ;searching  the  bins and being  beyond paranoid  with  his colleagues. Sam was asked by his boss to take  a few minutes  outside  to calm down. Sam went outside  to find a  wormhole  had appeared  from  nowhere and it was sucking  him in.Sam woke  up  to find he was in the middle  of  a tea party  which  was being attended  to by strange creatures  with  green skin and the biggest  one had his coffee  mug.Sam went over  to  the big  green  creature  and said (Excuse me you  have  my coffee  mug   can  I  have it back  please )The big green  creature  just  smiled  ;stood  up  and with  one quick  move  sliced  of Sams head.Sam woke up again  this time he was dribbling  over  his desk  with his  mug in hand and the words welcome to your  odyssey  written  on his computer  screen. Sam sighed it was just  a dream  or was it a prediction  of events  to happen.                                       EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE                                                                      Will all passengers  please  make  sure  to leave thier  emotional baggage  behind  before  going  on the plane .This  message  is  played  all  day  every day  at the  airport  i work  in .It not  the greatest  job  in the world.  I felt  sorry  for the  passenger's  but  it's my job as a steward to guide them to the  right  gate.This can  sometimes  get a bit confrontational as thier  try to argue  it not right I always  reply  to them just doing my job.  I find  it kinda funny when  the passagers try  to pleado thier cause to the ofacials but just get  a nod and a finger pointed  to  the gates marked Heaven and  the other Hell.The End.                                   ITS A DOGS LIFE                                                                                   It's a dogs life From our perspective  you  humans  seem to  live  extremely  long  lives.  I look around and see my fellow furry friends are in this small room with vinyl flooring and a couple of bowls in the corner and a musky old blanket to sleep on and iron like bars at the front.It seems to be a mixture of cats and dogs.In the time old conflicts between us dogs and cats I felt a little sorry for my old for to end up in a place like this with me.I have noticed something a bit strange and I am getting a bit anxious about it.I noticed their are two kinds of the being that walks talk and and speaks.The first one is normally dressed in normal clothing and sometimes have a smaller version of themselves beside them.Their walk along the corridor and peer into  each room and then stop and point at dog or cat in occupied in that space ,another being with keys opens the dog and hands over said cat or dog to them,water appears from their eyes and then they go with a word I overheard pet.The second is more sinister looking the beings have to a white coat and usually have a trolley with created containing cats and dogs in small crates.Their open the room door and place cat or dog in a   crate and place them in the trolley I never see my fellow furry friends come back which makes me feel very uneasy.So it seems ages since I have seen either of these brings called people.I  was beginning to think I was abandoned but then I  saw the white coated person walking towards my room and I release its the date I dreaded my fate .I am placed in a crate on the trolley and w with the others I am famed down the corridor and we are out in a metal moving box for which seems a long trek and very bumpy and I hear my fellow passengers throwing up in their crates.The metal box comes to a stop we   are.all unloaded and again out on a trolley and pulled towards a room with long.funnels on top .The being pulling us stood opens the door to the building and places the crates on the floor and release s me and my fellow furry friends ,quickly runs.to the door and slams it shut.Am I free at last,a strange w hiring sound is heard it's getting very hot in here.We begin to howl and meow loudly as your furry skin blisters and blacken,the best intenses we feel ou r life's slip away,our fate is sealed.The  End.              THE PHOTO. .                                                                                   While looking through old photos  i  discover a old black and white photograph that unequivocally settles an argument I had with Freddy which ended a childhood friendship decades ago.I can finally prove to Freddy that I did capture him on film and as he said at time his spirit is imprisoned in it,wish I'd totally a load of tosh.But finding Freddy was not going to be easy as I lost contract after my tenth birthday,but I am going back to my old hunting ground to see if by chance someone knows were he is now.As I walk around my old town on the estate I once lived I keep getting no one remembers Freddy at all.This trip seems to be a waste of time i have to just have give up the ghost and bit my lip and just have the photograph of my dear friend to reflect on my memories.Suddenly a voice shouts out(Hello Simon my old mate)I turned around it was Freddy.The oddest thing was Freddy was still a ten year old boy,scruffy appearance,bright yellow shoes a a glint off trouble in his green eyes,but this is impossible I am now sixty years old  why has he not aged .Freddy speaks(I never for got you my old friend I just moved to my next friend I needed to help,but it great to catch up  I have to go now)I reply(I have that black and white photograph you said I never took of you)Freddy(Sorry Simon that is impossible)I reply(Yeah I now that spirit thing rubbish)Freddy(no Simon it not possible because I am just an imaginary friend you needed like the others to feel less lonely,please look at the photo again)Simon pulls out the black and white photograph and is about to hold it up to prove his point,but  it's just blank he looks up to find no one is in front of him.The End..                         .TOOTH FAIRY.                                          ...                                        The Tooth Fairy finds something unexpected sitting beside the expected tooth under a child's pillow it a trap which snaps .The tooth fairy is caught by  her wing all in a bit of a panic attack,no human must see me says she,for the magic will be broken,then I stop existing what a sad world that would be for all children who believe in me,trapped like a vice I hear footsteps coming near,soon the human being will be upon me,is this how my  legend ends,the footsteps are now close by it time to say to the world goodbye.I feel a shake on my body I awake it was but a nightmare you see,I see you soon for that tooth.The End.    ABOUT THE AUTHOR                                                                           My name is Mark Antony Raines I like to write free books via my blogger account GHOSTMAN I hope yoh enjoy.