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Wednesday 30 March 2022

Adorable Luke Barlow A Short Story

 

Adorable Luke Barlow

Adorable Luke Barlow

A Short Story
by Mark Antony Raines 

Luke Barlow had always loved industrial Oxford with its regurgitated, red rivers. It was a place where he felt anxious.

He was an adorable, courageous, squash drinker with blonde hands and scrawny fingers. His friends saw him as a regurgitated, red rover. Once, he had even revived a dying, baby bird. That's the sort of man he was.

Luke walked over to the window and reflected on his grand surroundings. The clouds danced like boating bears.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Harold Barlow. Harold was a predatory banker with sloppy hands and brunette fingers.

Luke gulped. He was not prepared for Harold.

As Luke stepped outside and Harold came closer, he could see the thankful glint in his eye.

Harold gazed with the affection of 2189 rude muddy mice. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Internet access."

Luke looked back, even more calm and still fingering the magic teapot. "Harold, get out of my house," he replied.

They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two blue, brawny badgers swimming at a very daring Valentine's meal, which had indie music playing in the background and two patient uncles shouting to the beat.

Suddenly, Harold lunged forward and tried to punch Luke in the face. Quickly, Luke grabbed the magic teapot and brought it down on Harold's skull.

Harold's sloppy hands trembled and his brunette fingers wobbled. He looked active, his emotions raw like a rich, racid rock.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Harold Barlow was dead.

Luke Barlow went back inside and made himself a nice beaker of squash.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Adorable Luke Barlow

"I feel like I know Luke Barlow. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the clouds danced like boating bears is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop






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The first sound of silence was made by the ancient graveyard lay down on you in the morning comes with a dreadful unbelieving shock to your Divine Mother in your life. 

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To Barbara Raines and May Jenkins (Mothers)Mothers day


 Mother you give us birth, 

Fed and clothed us ,gave us love ,

Wiped our tears, gave us comfort about our fears,

Encouraged us to follow our dreams, 

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Instead we shall look up to heaven and wish you both a happy mother's day   

We miss you both every day 

From Mark and Enid 

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Interview with MITCHE GRAF

 




Mitche Graf

Mitche Graf

About Mitche Graf

Daddy of 3, best-selling author, serial entrepreneur, international-renowned business speaker, 2-time nationally-syndicated radio show host and former All American Track & Field athlete Mitche Graf has been a passionate serial entrepreneur for over 35 years, dangling his toes into the ponds of many intriguing industries along the way. From selling lemonade in the 3rd grade, to selling bikes out of his garage in the seventh grade, to running four companies today, he has prided himself on knowing how to squeeze every drop of potential out of his endeavors.

In the middle of all of this, he took a year off from running his own companies to become the President of a Class A affiliate of the world-champion San Francisco Giants baseball team for a season, and undertook a organizational re-brand which culminated in a 12% increase in attendance, one of the best in all of professional baseball in 2019.

Over the past three decades, Mitche has created two award-winning restaurants, a bustling catering & events company, a national spice manufacturing business with over 4000 accounts, an award-winning photography studio, a cribbage board company, an award-winning limousine business, a portable hot tub rental business, a drive-through espresso company, an multi-million dollar educational products company, an athletic fitness testing corporation, and even a night crawler company.

His nationally-syndicated radio shows 'Business Edge Radio' and the 'Business Edge Minute' were launched in the spring of 2020, and are now available on nearly 75 radio stations across the country, with more coming on board every month. He also is the host of the very popular 'The BBQ Radio Show' which is also nationally-synidated and can be heard on radio stations and as a podcast.

Mitche's quick wit and fast-paced style has garnered his shows plenty of national press, and it has allowed his shows to rise to the top in lighting-fast speeds, being in the top 1.5% of all podcasts in the world. The business shows can be listened to through the Business Edge Radio app that is available in the Apple or Android stores, along with PDF worksheets and videos.

Having started, built, and successfully operated numerous multi-million dollar enterprises in a multitude of industries has taught him a simple truth: the same basic business principles apply, regardless of the arena you may play in.

As an educator and motivational speaker, Mitche’s high-voltage seminars and workshops have been delivered around the world to over 75,000 people in nine countries and nearly every state in the U.S. His cutting-edge articles and columns have appeared in the pages of business trade magazines such as Rangefinder, PPA Magazine, Limo Digest, Chauffer Driven, Image Maker, and Fresh Cup, as well as many online marketing sites and blogs.

Mitche has published 9 books including-

- Marketing Your Espesso Business (1994)

- Power Marketing, Selling & Pricing (2004) Best Seller

- The Passionate Life- A Common Man's Dream To Getting Anything You Want Out Of Everything You Do (2009)

- The Unleashed Entrepreneur- A KickAss Guide To Harnessing Your Inner Ninja, Working Less, & Building The Lifestyle Of Your Dreams (2018) Best Seller

- BBQ Unleashed Recipe Book (2018)

- High Voltage Branding- Go From Ordinary To Extra-Ordinary (2020)

- The Business Basics BootCamp- The Ultimate Crash Course (2020) Best Seller

- Entertain Like A Pro- Appetizers (2020)

- Customer Service Is DEAD: Delivering 6-Star Service In A 1-Star World (2021)

A majority of his education and training has been from the School of Hard Knocks, from which he has earned his PhD degree. Through the high-notes of his business home runs, to the low-notes of bankruptcy in the 1990s, Mitche has continued to make bold attempts to redefine the limits of his abilities, and to reinvent the way his businesses operate so they don’t become all-consuming black holes that suck him dry of his creative juices and zest for life.

Getting punched in the face from failure is probably the best teacher he has ever had and most of the lessons he has learned were born out of those failures.

He firmly believes life is meant to be lived, not endured, and we each can make a profound difference in the world. He loves his family, loves his friends, and the rest just falls into place!

Mitche is passionate about the outdoors, and laughing, playing guitar, reading, listening to great music, cooking and eating, drinking good wine, taking a tremendous amount of time off to chill, and most importantly, spending time with his family.

Living in a small country town in Oregon allows him to raise his children the way he was raised....with a hard work ethic and a strong sense of community. He lives with his wife Tami and their three small children Jaycee, Colton, and Sierra, Tilly & Delilah the Dogs, , Coral the Hermit Crab, Opa the Lizard, as well several hundred guppies (names not important).

He spends much of his time looking for ways to work smarter, not harder, so he can spend more time doing and enjoying the things in life that are most important to him. He believes that EVERY DAY IS A SATURDAY , and this perspective inspires him to wake up every day with a sense of excitement and enthusiasm to live his life by design.

Advice for man who have bladder control problems.

 I myself have this problem that men often find a tabboo to talk about but like all this it happens in my care I have an enlarged bladder this causes  me to urinate alot ,sometimes I find it hard to control and and am suspect to UTIs infections so here is some information I Hooe you  will find  useful. 

Tips and advice

Enjoy the good life with tips and advice about male urine leakage by men who know what they're talking about. We've gathered all the info you need straight from the experts.

Tips and advice for men

Illustration of a water bottle

Hydrate

Don't cut back on drinking water. You might think that staying away from fluids will lessen the leaks, but it will only lead to dehydration and the possibility of your urine becoming more concentrated. More concentrated urine could lead to bladder infections, and no one wants that.
Illustration of hot beverage

Moderation

Triggers like caffeine, alcohol and artificial sweeteners can increase your urge to visit the toilet. Don’t worry, you don't need to give up the good life, but laying low on the caffeine for example will do you plenty of good.
Illustration of hot beverage

Quit smoking

You already know that smoking is bad for your health, but one more reason to quit smoking won't hurt you. For example, did you know that tobacco can aggravate urinary tract symptoms? Not to mention the fact that the coughing that comes with smoking doesn't help you against urine leakage.
llustration of person in meditative pose

Relax

Stress is never pleasant, especially not since it can cause urine leakage or make your symptoms worse. By using relaxing techniques such as breathing exercises and meditation, you can become better at keeping control of your bladder.


Pelvic Floor Exercises for Men

Exercise of any type has numerous physical benefits including a stronger body and mind, plus reduced stress levels. Many men find that with the right exercise, you can reduce urine leakage, and even improve your sex life! These exercises target the pelvic floor muscles as well as your bladder. Together they'll teach you how to strengthen the male bladder, improve your control and help you deal with urine leakage.

What are Kegel exercises for men?

Pelvic floor exercises, commonly known as “Kegel exercises”, consist of repeatedly clenching and releasing the muscles which support the bladder and bowel in order to strengthen them.
Many factors can weaken the male pelvic floor  muscles with age, which can lead to bladder weakness, especially if the man has had prostate problems.  Male pelvic floor exercises  are easy exercises you can do to help strengthen the muscles around your bladder and control urinary incontinence

Do men have a pelvic floor?

Yes – while the pelvic floor muscles have typically been associated with women, men have a pelvic floor too. When the male pelvic floor  is not working properly, it can lead to bladder and bowel problems , as well as genital issues such as erectile dysfunction. 
The male pelvic floor muscles are found at the base of the pelvis, and stretch from the pubic bone at the front to the tail bone (coccyx) at the back. They sit below the bladder and bowel, and contract and relax to control the bladder and bowel. 

What are the benefits of Kegel exercises for men?

Male pelvic floor exercises  are a recommended therapy for men with overactive bladder symptoms , especially for men experiencing urinary incontinence after prostate surgery. Repeated clenching of the male pelvic floor muscles can suppress bladder contractions, helping to manage overactive bladder.
Kegel exercises can also help to treat nocturia,  reducing the urge to urinate frequently at night and improving quality of sleep as a result. 
Kegel exercises may also help with managing erectile dysfunction, as the pelvic floor muscles help to increase blood flow to the groin and are active during sex. This means that strengthening the pelvic floor muscles may also improve sexual functioning. 

How to do Kegel exercises for men

How to find your pelvic floor muscles

Before doing the exercises, you need to learn how to find your pelvic floor muscles. One way to do this is by tightening the same muscles you use while trying not to break wind. Alternatively, another way is to try to stop or slow down the flow of urine whilst urinating. The muscles you use for both of these are your pelvic floor muscles.

Stopping and slowing down the flow of urine is not a pelvic floor exercise and shouldn't be used as an exercise, as it could disrupt the normal emptying reflex. It's simply a way to locate the right muscles. If you have trouble finding the right muscles you can consult a physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic floor muscles.

Advice for beginners

If you're new to the exercises you can do them lying down. Initially your muscles aren't strong enough, so you need to have them work against gravity. Lying down also makes it easier to feel that the right muscles are working and that they're clenched to the maximum. Try to find the position in which you are most comfortable. You can lie down with your knees bent and feet on the floor, or with your legs resting on a pillow or chair seat.

Illustration depicting 10 times strength

Strength

Clench and hold your pelvic floor muscles for a second or two. Relax for 10 seconds and then repeat, building up to 10 repetitions. Try not to squeeze your buttocks or tighten your thighs or stomach at the same time while doing this exercise.

Illustration of a stopwatch

Perseverance

Use the same technique as for the strength exercise, but this time instead of repeating short clenches, clench 10 seconds, building up to 10 repetitions. Relax for 20 seconds between each repetition.

Illustration of person and their abdominal muscles

Resistance

Kick it up a notch by adding abdomen resistance when you do the strength and perseverance exercises.

Illustration of person with symbols pointing outwards from torso

Pro tip: Hard contractions

Feel like you've mastered the exercises above? Try using fast, hard contractions to squeeze your pelvic floor muscles as hard as you can and then let go straight away. Repeat up to 10 times.

Remember, good results take time and it will take several weeks before you notice improvement. Until then, make sure you do these exercises daily.

Illustrationg depicting bladder control

Bladder control

Regain control of your bladder by scheduling your toilet visits and keeping track of the amount of liquid you drink. For example, if you drink a litre and a half of water a day, it's perfectly normal to visit the toilet up to 8 times a day. If you need to urinate more often, use the pelvic floor exercises above to regain control.


Doing pelvic floor exercises regularly should help to manage the symptoms of urinary incontinence, although they may take a few months to have an effect, and work differently for each person. For more information on how to keep control of urine leakage, visit our top tips and advice , or discover our best products  to help you manage male incontinence.


References

https://www.medicinenet.com/urinary_incontinence/article.htm#urinary_incontinence_ui_introduction

https://www.continence.org.au/who-it-affects/men/male-pelvic-floor-muscles

https://www.healthline.com/health/kegel-exercises#for-men

https://www.uclahealth.org/urology/prostate