THE BOSS NEW CLOTHES BY MARK ANTONY RAINES

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THE Boss NEW CLOTHES
Once upon a  time  long ago  there was  a boss in a firm that made parts for the thingy that  turned the wheel  for thingy abob who all that new me was very vain and always  wanted to be up to date  with  the latest  trends. 

So one day  he heard  of a latest  fashion 09had to have called  digital clothing he called  up his poor  put upon  secretary to look  up the lastest  suppliers of said  clothes; she was just  only too pleased  to point him  in the right direction. 

So on one sunny Wednesday Morning in came two gentlemen wearing  suit's so sharp if you were  to touch them you  give yourself a painful papercut.

The gentleman laided out the new suit for the boss and said how it could  mould  itself  instantly  to his body and be want ever colour  he wished and the design  of his choice and did he not see the  fabulous design. 

The boss could see nothing  at all  but not wishing  to be called stupid  said. 

"Why it the  most magnificent suit I have  seen ,i have  have one at whatever  the cost "

The next day  the boss came to work  wearing  his very  very very very expensive  new digital suit with enomorous  pride and all the staff look  on in shock and awe and when  he said. 

"Do you  like  my fabulous new suit "

Each and every one to a man or woman  in this politically correct  age said it was a sight  to behold  although  no of them  could  see the  suit but treasured  thier jobs which  came with a decent  pension  to say nowt else.

The boss sat proudly  in his new suit  in his office  all day with seeing various saleman and commitee  members  each not saying anything about  his new attaire  apart  what  a fabulous new suit it was as  none wished  to lose trade or get kicked off the boardroom as no one  likes hearing  the immortal  words Your Fired. 

Time  tick and trocked and the second hand went around the numbers on the clock  every sixty second s then  the big hand pointed  to Twelve  and  the little  to Four  it was Four Of Clock which  is time  for a  nice cup of tea  no sugar and some chocolate biscuit s.

A knocking  came  upon  the Boss door. he said 

"Come in"

With this the teaboy entered and upon  seeing the boss let the loudest  laugh you  ever  heard and said 

"Here you  An:t got a stitch on it can  see your  meat and two veg and it an;t a pretty  sight "

At this the boss instantly  realised he had been naked as the day he was born  all day and was deeply embarrassed about  being  so vain .

DONT TOUCH THE FACE BY MARK ANTONY RAINES

"School is such a hassle do I need to go back ".

Says Little Johnny an average blonde blue eyed boy who at times is a little demon  like  all boys can be.

Johnny mother wake him up  from  his daydreaming of just staying  in his room all day playing on his latest  game .

"Well Johnny you  need a good education to get  on in life :you  can't survive  on wit and charm alone "

After speed eating  his breakfast of his favourite  chocolate and banana cereals with a glass of orange juice  for vitamin c Johnny  makes a mad dash to the bus stop. 

Johnny loves his home just your  average run of the  mill estate house each  built to conform to the same  design. 

Johnny  reaches the bus stop and waits inside the seating area which  used to have a really cool murial  of Marvel Super Heroes untill the  older kids covered  with offensive graffiti so the council  got fed up with the  complaints  and painted it back  to  its boring off white colour. 

I could go on  to decide Johnny s bus journey ,his talk with his friends about the latest video game; the kids at the back of the bus making  rude hand gestures to the motorists but that is  just far too boring. 

School is a series of big blocks of square rooms called class rooms in which  a person  normally an adult called a teacher  stands near a white  board talking about the  lesson of the day most are exciting accept  maths:and bit of a yawn feast. 

Johnny hated maths as it made his head hurt trying  to do allist that algerbra  stuff. 

In between  lessons was want to Johnny  referred  to call avoid the bullies; girls; smoking behind the bike sheds or as you  dear reader  call it breaktime .

Yes we all remember our time atogether breaktime as nearly  the best part ;the best  part was after more and more lessons yes repeating this part of the story as to Johnnyand products probably a lot of people it felt like Groundhog Day.

Dinner  was the  best time of day with pizza:chips:beans:roast dinner :strawberry custard :treacle pudding apart from  one dinnertime when  Johnny  eat a rice crispy cake that  was so hard it chipped his one his front  teeth on it.

Years later  Johnny would too grow to love  his chipped tooth as he believed  it give him an unique smile. 

Time ticks slowly and finally the school bell rang to sound the end of the day 

All the children stampede out like a herd of cattle :yes and American reference in b movie  westerns with John Wayne in the staring role.

Johnny was making his way  home when  suddenly around the corner appeared the usual gang of youngsters who love and live for to bully and tease and may grow up  to end up in a prison cell somewhere. 

Johnny was just about to  turn around to go alternative route but this was blocked  by a rival gang.

"Oh Shit"

Thought Johnny  in his head  for he realised he was in the middle of a  rubble  or Fight; brawl take your  pick. 

Then before Johnny was able to say Jack Robinson _Why this word i am unsure if you  think of a  better  one dear reader replace  it in your  head. 

The Fight. 

Fighting  is nothing like the movies or television, high kicks, slow motion moves  and the  hero  beating everyone up without  breaking a sweat it's more a kick to the groin area; if you be misfortune to had this happen  to you  your go down like a bag of spuds;a punch to the  face  or eye causing a bloody nose or a blackeye or a punch in the stomach that winds you and all really really hurts ouch.

Poor Johnny  was cowling in the corner awaiting the fight to quiet down so he could run away as fast as his little legs would  let  him

The daylight was losing its battle with the plutoniandarkness of night. 

The only thing breaking the darkness was the shiny Full Moon. 

From the corner from  which little Johnny  was hiding came a series   agonising screams and Crys of pain;the sound of breaking bones then  piecing howl.

All in those fighting stopped  in thier tracks  to see  what this could be when out of corner appeared a big black furred ;snarling teeth and huge claws looking  like half an child and half a wolf .

Before the  others  could  run away  the creature was upon  them ripping;clawing;biting each and every one :all that was left at scene was pieces of human bones flesh;no heads or arms or legs were ever found in the  remains. 

Johnny was late for his new term at his new school as his family  moved every  month  to avoid  suspicious minds thinking  thier were Werewolves.