Mark Humble and the Three Grey Ostriches
A Fairy Tale
by Freddy Eastwood
Once upon a time there was a gracious boy called Mark Humble. He was on the way to see his goat Harry Gloop, when he decided to take a short cut through Penrose Woods.
It wasn't long before Mark got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Bunny, but Bunny was nowhere to be found! Mark began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Bunny. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a grey ostrich dressed in a pink skirt disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Mark.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed ostrich. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Mark reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from sweet potatoes, a house made from macarons, a house made from chocolates and a house made from cakes.
Mark could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Mark looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Mark a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Bunny!
"Bunny!" shouted Mark. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Bunny back!" cried Mark.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Bunny out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three grey ostriches rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Mark recognised the one in the pink skirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Ostrich," said the witch.
"Good morning." The ostrich noticed Bunny. "Who is this?"
"That's Bunny," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Bunny would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the ostrich.
The witch shook her head. "Bunny is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Mark interrupted. "Bunny lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Ostrich ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Ostrich looked at the house made from cakes and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from cakes if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next ostrich. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Bunny."
Mark watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Bunny to Big Ostrich. He didn't think Bunny would like living with a grey ostrich, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two ostriches watched while Big Ostrich put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Big Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macarons. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Ostrich started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of macarons, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Ostrich.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from macarons and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Ostrich stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Average Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Ostrich started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an ostrich!" said Average Ostrich.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Ostrich, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the ostrich away under his arm.
Average Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Ostrich stepped up, and approached the house made from cakes.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Little Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Ostrich started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating cakes for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Ostrich into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Ostrich. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Ostrich was never seen again.
Little Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from cakes and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Bunny."
"Not so fast," said Mark. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sweet potatoes. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the ostriches. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Mark.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Bunny back."
Mark ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sweet potatoes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Mark sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Mark. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Mark's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Mark was down to the final piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Mark had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sweet potatoes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Bunny or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Mark hurried over and grabbed Bunny, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Bunny was unharmed.
Mark thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Harry. It was starting to get dark.
When Mark got to Harry's house, his goat threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Harry. "You are very late."
As Mark described his day, he could tell that Harry didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Harry.
Mark unwrapped a doorknob made from macarons. "Pudding!" he said.
Harry almost fell off his chair.
The End
It wasn't long before Mark got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Bunny, but Bunny was nowhere to be found! Mark began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Bunny. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a grey ostrich dressed in a pink skirt disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Mark.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed ostrich. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Mark reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from sweet potatoes, a house made from macarons, a house made from chocolates and a house made from cakes.
Mark could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Mark looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Mark a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Bunny!
"Bunny!" shouted Mark. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Bunny back!" cried Mark.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Bunny out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three grey ostriches rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Mark recognised the one in the pink skirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Ostrich," said the witch.
"Good morning." The ostrich noticed Bunny. "Who is this?"
"That's Bunny," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Bunny would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the ostrich.
The witch shook her head. "Bunny is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Mark interrupted. "Bunny lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Ostrich ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Ostrich looked at the house made from cakes and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from cakes if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next ostrich. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Bunny."
Mark watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Bunny to Big Ostrich. He didn't think Bunny would like living with a grey ostrich, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two ostriches watched while Big Ostrich put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Big Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macarons. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Ostrich started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of macarons, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Ostrich.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from macarons and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Ostrich stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Average Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Ostrich started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an ostrich!" said Average Ostrich.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Ostrich, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the ostrich away under his arm.
Average Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Ostrich stepped up, and approached the house made from cakes.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Ostrich. "Just you watch!"
Little Ostrich pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cakes. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Ostrich started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating cakes for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Ostrich into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Ostrich. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Ostrich was never seen again.
Little Ostrich never finished eating the front door made from cakes and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Bunny."
"Not so fast," said Mark. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sweet potatoes. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the ostriches. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Mark.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Bunny back."
Mark ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sweet potatoes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Mark sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Mark. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Mark's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Mark was down to the final piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Mark had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sweet potatoes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Bunny or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Mark hurried over and grabbed Bunny, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Bunny was unharmed.
Mark thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Harry. It was starting to get dark.
When Mark got to Harry's house, his goat threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Harry. "You are very late."
As Mark described his day, he could tell that Harry didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Harry.
Mark unwrapped a doorknob made from macarons. "Pudding!" he said.
Harry almost fell off his chair.
The End
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