Nowhere Man "As I been the narrator since episode one of this show about superzeros I have to hope that you the last surviving watcher is ready to hear want I have to say about what should have been my crowning glory, my victory for all for you too see but for some reason perhaps it be explained I been denied and also I learned by time travel no I just watched the spoilers on YouTube ,I lose,end up in a painting with a person who eats human hair waste how yuck,but at lest I get my tiny revenge, you have to watch DOOM PATROL SEASON 2 ,EPISODE 1 to find that out.#
"Well that get back to the plot,Robotman,Crazy Jane,the mummy,cyborg, and the blob discussed or should I say argued to agreement to follow the the beard hunter as the blob had managed to put a tracker on him,and as thier wanted the chief back despite his many faults "
The scooby doo gang ie the DOOM PATROL followed the beard hunter to a spiral staircase that was straight out of the cubic movement in art .
Down,up,side to side ,even upside down until thier reached a room in which was a table and on the wall a very small door, Jane realised this was a Alice's in wonderland reference, but who among them was brave enough to eat the mushroom to go small open the door and then find out what trap the villain Nowhere Man had in store .
There all played a game of rock ,paper, scissors, which if your a robot man you know you would normally lose, but seeing he could not eat he was glad for once of losing this skill,so Rita ,*,The blob*just walks up eats the mushroom.
Rita "Wow,I so disappointed that nothing happened "
But one of the remaining DOOM PATROL heard her as her voice was like a squeak from a mouse.
Rita opens the door, walks through to be greeted by the no where man and Miles*The Chief*both seated waiting for he arrival,in a flash of smoke,lights and by a bit of interdimentional magic all the rest appeared, Clint*Robot Man *said with his usual flair .
"Oh Fuck"
Thier look around and see the painting by the hangman's daughter ,cyborg standing with all around him seemly beaten and maybe all dead,but thus is season one and normally eight of ten times their is a season two.
The Nowhere man asks
"Shall we play "
Jane "All my sixty nine self's are ready "
Rita "I am not ready but I have nothing to lose"
Cyborg "Armed and Ready "
Clint *The mummy*"I know the spirit inside is ready "
Cliff "Yeh fuck I am ready but it going to be a unfair fight as you have interdimentional powers "
Nowhere Man smiles at Miles who at the moment can't talk as his mouth is switched together, and replies
"Oh that's OK it's not me you have to worry about it going to be him"
All the DOOM PATROL look at the nerd looking like a second hand ninja ,apart from Rita and Cyborg or as he prefers Vic.
The man introduces himself to the other and to any whom may have forgotten about the second super villain in this series.
"My name is Beard Hunter, I know all about you through the essence of your facial hair,so Cyborg we meet again, and this time instead of crushing you I beat your friends to a pulp"
Carl to Vic
"One how did this dush beat you,and is the bit were you go all Norman Bates on me and the other s"
But before Vic can reply he has turned around to face his friends with his sonic cannon all fired up and ready to attack.
The rest of the DOOM PATROL look at Vic with shock and awe then try to duck out of the way but it's too late the blast from the sonic cannon hits them at full force,thier all fall down like a stack of domino's.
The Nowhere man just s grins like a chestshire cat who's just got his cream and he turns to Miles and looks him dead in the eye and is just about to dwell in his victory over Miles freaks when out of nowhere appears Danny Street and a sign saying
(Nothing is ever over until the fat lady sings)
Nowhere Man is a hissy fit turns Danny Street into a brick,and laughed
(Is that the best thing you got to ride in and safe the day you cannot defeat me for I am the narrator of this story and only I can dictate its ending)
In the shadows is an ape faced little girl called Claire who although a bit scared hears the familiar whisper
"Make a wish,I can help your father and his friends "
She remember s her father s said never to wish ever again but surely it would be alright just to save her father, so she asked for her wish.
The creature inside the wish master appear s only to the eyes of the Nowhere man who immediately along with the Beard Hunter end up in the painting trapped like flies in a spider s Web for until the said painting is destroyed.
As for the DOOM PATROL will thier ended up on a table full of houses and a race track wondering when would thier be big again and had a very ignoring girl with a ape face for company and a fist full of questions about why Miles betrayed them all as he was just using them to find a way of staying immortal to keep his daughter safe.
But that you have to find out more in SEASON 2 ,did this episode happen or is it just some fanzine fantasy who knows but hey at least it may explain the what happened in the end of season one and beginning of season two.
So that's the end of that weird and wonderful episode so I hope you enjoyed it if not look behind I think it s the Nowhere man.
The end,possibly.
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