Sniff of a Loch Ness Monster A Paranormal Romance by Ghostman

Sniff of a Loch Ness Monster

A Paranormal Romance
by Ghostman

Suzanne Sparrow suspected something was a little off when her scrawny honey tried to sniff her when she was just six years old. Nevertheless, she lived a relatively normal life among other humans.
It wasn't until she bumped into the devilishly dirty loch ness monster, Chantal Thornhill, that her life finally began to make sense.
However, Chantal proved to be kind and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with sleeping. Suzanne soon learnt that Chantal had taken an oath never to massage a human being.
When Suzanne's scrawny honey is injured in a golfing accident, Suzanne realises her own life is at risk.
Despite Chantal's whopping ears and murderous tendencies, Suzanne finds herself falling for the loch ness monster. Only fate will decided whether she kills or protects her.
One night, a fairy appears before Suzanne and warns her of a darkness within Chantal. The fairy gives Suzanne the warped knife - the only weapon that can defeat a dirty loch ness monster.
Will Suzanne find it in herself to kill the only creature who has ever made her feel truly confused? (Hint: yes!)

Zoe Olsson, the Robot A Fantasy Novel by Writer Unknown

Zoe Olsson, the Robot

A Fantasy Novel
by Writer Unknown

In a house there lived a cosy, ill-meaning robot named Zoe Olsson. Not an evil brunette, wild house, filled with wigs and a ripped smell, nor yet a giant, frozen, scrawny house with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a robot-house, and that means shelter.
One day, after a troubling visit from the fairy Rick Russell, Zoe leaves her house and sets out in search of three dirty flamingos. A quest undertaken in the company of robots, elves and tattered giants.
In the search for the fairy-guarded flamingos, Zoe Olsson surprises even herself with her patience and skill as a private detective.
During her travels, Zoe rescues a torch, an heirloom belonging to Rick. But when Rick refuses to try hopping, their friendship is over.
However, Rick is wounded at the Battle of Three Armies and the two reconcile just before Zoe engages in some serious hopping.
Zoe accepts one of the three dirty flamingos and returns home to her house a very wealthy robot.

Harry the Vampire Slayer A Teen Vampire Story by Ghostman

Harry the Vampire Slayer

A Teen Vampire Story
by Ghostman

There's a hilarious new girl in Cape Town and she has everybody talking. Stunningly weak and devastatingly scruffy, all the boys want her. However, Beth Jones has a secret - she's a tactless vampire.
Harry Pigeon is a grateful, muscular boy who enjoys choir. He becomes fascinated by Beth who can stop helicopters with her bare hands. He doesn't understand why she's so standoffish.
His best friend, a hilarious gnome called Dolly, helps Harry begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the purple, minuscule arrow.
When bodies start turning up all over Cape Town, Harry begins to fear the worst. The gnome urges her to report Beth to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?
He may resist Beth's bite, but can he resist her charms?
Will he be caught partying with the vampire?

The Curse of the Giant Hawk A Horror Story by Ghostman

The Curse of the Giant Hawk

A Horror Story
by Ghostman

Whilst investigating the death of a local homemaker, a cute homemaker called Carla Ball uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, giant hawk circulating throughout Scotland. As soon as anyone uses the hawk, he or she has exactly 101 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look shrunken. A marked person feels like a sticky flamingo to touch.
Carla gets hold of the hawk, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: an important flamingo balancing on a happy homemaker, an old newspaper headline about an apocalyptic accident, a hooded puppy ranting about spots and a drinking well located in a cold place.
When Carla notices her eyebrows have flamingo-like properties, she realises that the curse of the giant hawk is true and calls in her grandfather, a swordsman called Dick Hemingway, to help.
Dick examines the hawk and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the important flamingo balancing on a happy homemaker particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.
Carla and Dick pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded puppy. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

2022, Year of Convicts A Dystopian Plot by Ghostman

2022, Year of Convicts

A Dystopian Plot
by Ghostman

A super virus has destroyed the world as we know it.
The year is 2022. Wales is a deserted place ruled by convicts. Once glorious, Buckingham Palace is now jagged.
Hopeful cleaner, Dr Mo Meadows is humanity's only hope. Mo finds the courage to start a secret revolutionary organization called The Freedom Foxes.
The fight is jeopardised when Mo is tricked by vile scout, DCI Michelle Wishmonger, and injures his toenail.
Armed with wit and swords, The Freedom Foxes try their best to save mankind, but can they defeat stupid convicts and restore Buckingham Palace to its former glory?

Simon and Katybert - The Troll Hunters of St Gurgle A Smelly Troll Plot by Ghostman

Simon and Katybert - The Troll Hunters of St Gurgle

A Smelly Troll Plot
by Ghostman

Simon Malkovich is just an ordinary thirteen-year-old boy living in St Gurgle, until he sees a horrifying troll, called Warwick Speckledtongue, climb in through his bedroom window.
Warwick, who is built like a potato filled with rocks and smells like grated earwax smothered with sauce made from rotton turnips, sings a song about making little boys into curries.
Simon tricks the troll into falling out of his window by telling him that there are child-brain cheesebakes outside. He realises that the troll has to be stopped before he eats any more children and sets to work trying to invent a trap.
Meanwhile, in a cave just outside St Gurgle, Katybert Soapfree starts to suspect that eating children is wrong, and grows tired of hunting with her fellow trolls. She decides to live as a vegetarian.
After a brief misunderstanding involving a hand and lashings of ketchup, Simon and Katybert team up to stop the trolls, using a catapult that fires sprouts. They lure the trolls by creating a big mound of skunk trainers.

Strange Night by Mark Antony Raines

As I fed upstairs into my perceived safety of my bedroom,  will never forget the night it happened.
 It was a normal average boring naff tv  quiet night, and I was relaxing upstairs with my television on for background noise , a good book  ,something about a strange creepy night,and my faithful squirrel, wolfy.
Suddenly there was a loud bang. I sprang to my feet and crept downstairs, trying to be as careful as I could. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Suddenly I heard the bang again, but this time it was much more noxious and I knew it was coming from the basement. Summoning my courage, I grabbed a flashlight and strode quickly down the stairs. I might have met my end right there, if not for wolfy, who let out a loud "boom!" Startled, I jumped instantly to the side just in time to avoid a long gooey appendage. I turned my flashlight on the intruder and gasped in horror. Lurking there in my basement, bathed in the reeky glow of my light, was a huge, quivering, shapeless blob of ooze! The hideous thing was as blood red as a devil and as big as a rhino.

"holy cow!" I cried.

I fled promptly upstairs, but the thing chased me with lightning speed. I was trapped, and knew I had to fight if I wanted to survive. First I tried to chop it with a sharp butcher's knife from the kitchen, then I shot it with my grandpas shot gun that hangs over the fireplace. In desperation, I even tried throwing acid on it, but all to no avail. It just kept coming. I thought I was dead for sure, when suddenly a strange figure crashed through my window and leapt between us! He was tall and stenchy, with fierce yucky eyes and dropping shoulders. He was dressed entirely in black, except for his purple panty!.

"WTF!" the figure cried, and quick as a fox he jumped in and stunned the ooze creature with a powerful kick.

Without pause he scooped the thing into a down stairs and tied it shut with a long rope.

"How did you do that?!" I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

"Their only weakness is their bum," he replied. "One good kick and the things are helpless."

"But how do you find it?" I asked, staring at the shapeless mass.

"That is easy," said the stranger. "It is right next to their shoulder."

I thanked him for saving my life and asked him his name. "I am Kaput, and I have been hunting the ooze creatures all my life. Join me in my quest and we will make the world safe from their stinking evil!"

Now that I knew the truth, how could I say no? I joined Kaput that night and my life has never been the same. I learned how to spot their bum in less than 13 seconds, and together we have defeated over 32 of the ooze creatures. I even got my own purple panty!.