The Myth Makers
Original Airdate: 16 Oct, 1965
(Transcriber's note - this story only exists in audio form.) Episode One - Temple of Secrets
[Plain outside Troy]
(On the plain outside the ancient city of Troy, two men are fighting.)
HECTOR: Achilles!
ACHILLES: Over here, stable keeper. Barbarian horse worshipper!
HECTOR: Out of breath so soon, my light-foot princeling? Your friend Petrocolus fled me further, and made better sport!
ACHILLES: Murderer! Petrocolus was a boy.
HECTOR: A boy? Well he died like a dog, whimpering after his master Achilles! How! Let me send you to him where he waits in Hades. Let me throw the dog a bone or two!
(Achilles lunges at Hector, who easily parries the thrust. They circle round each other warily.)
HECTOR: What? So anxious to be gone? Well, I would not keep you for the world.
ACHILLES: Your bones would be the meatier, Trojan. Though meat a trifle rough at that. Well, all's one. They will whiten well enough in the sun!
(Enraged, Achilles attacks again, and Hector counters every blow. Hector seems to be gaining the upper hand when Achilles turns and dodges out of reach, running past and ignoring the blue police box which has no place in the middle of a Trojan plain. Hector follows, calling after him.)
HECTOR: Run, Achilles! Run! Run a little more, before you die!
[Tardis]
VICKI: What sort of people are they, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Oh, I'm not sure, my child. You'll notice they're wearing Grecian costumes.
VICKI: They don't seem to have noticed us.
STEVEN: That's hardly surprising in the circumstances. Why do you suppose they're fighting?
DOCTOR: I haven't the remotest idea, my boy. No doubt their reasons will be entirely adequate. Yes, I think I perhaps I'd better go and ask them where we are.
VICKI: Doctor, be careful! They look terribly fierce.
DOCTOR: Oh, what nonsense. If you take notice of them, I think they're doing more talking than they are fighting. I think I'd better go and ask them where we are.
VICKI: Doctor, you can't! You know if you go out there by yourself you'll g
DOCTOR: Now you stay here, my dear, and look after that ankle.
STEVEN: Wouldn't it be better if I went?
DOCTOR: Not at all, young man. You stay here and keep an eye on Vicki. Besides, I don't think your present humour is fitting for the occasion. You know, I don't think they'd appreciate your kind of sarcasm.
[Plain outside Troy]
ACHILLES: The gods of my people, Hector, are not lightly mocked. They are terrible! And Troy itself is doomed to fall at their bidding, even as you are. You cannot stand against them.
HECTOR: You pretend that old Father Zeus will descend to Earth and take Troy for you. I guarantee to trim his beard for him if he dare attempt it!
(thunder)
ACHILLES: Beware the voice of Zeus, Hector. Beware the anger of Olympus.
HECTOR: Oh, I do not fear the thunder, you superstitious, dark-dodging decadent! Hear me, Zeus! Accept from me the promised life of your cringing servant Achilles! Or else, I challenge you. Descend to Earth and save him!
(Hector lunges at Achilles as the Doctor emerges from the Tardis, and Hector falls to his knees, amazed.)
HECTOR: Zeus! Forgive me.
(With Hector distracted, Achilles runs him through with his sword.)
DOCTOR: Stop! You must not kick a man when he is down. You have killed this poor fellow!
ACHILLES: Oh, but in your name.
DOCTOR: In my name, indeed! Get up! Get up, I tell you! This is terrible.
ACHILLES: If Zeus bids me to rise.
DOCTOR: What is this? What is it you take me for?
ACHILLES: The Father of the Gods and ruler of the world.
DOCTOR: What! Do you really? And who might you be, may I ask?
ACHILLES: Achilles. Mightiest of warriors, greatest in battle, humblest of your servants.
DOCTOR: Well, if I may say so, you're not very humble, are you? Yes, I think I know you. Yes. And this friend of yours must be
ACHILLES: Hector, Prince of Troy. Sent to Hades for blasphemy against the gods of Greece.
DOCTOR: Blasphemy? I'm sure he didn't mean it.
ACHILLES: He threatened to trim your beard should you descend to Earth.
DOCTOR: Oh, did he now? Well, if you notice, I have no beard.
ACHILLES: If you had appeared to me in your true form, I would have been truly blinded by your radiance. It is well known that when you come amongst us you adopt many different forms.
DOCTOR: Oh, do I?
ACHILLES: To Europa, you appeared as a bull. To Leda, as a swan. To me, in the guise of an old beggar.
DOCTOR: I beg your pardon. I do nothing of the kind!
ACHILLES: Oh, but still your glory shines through!
DOCTOR: Oh, indeed. Indeed so. Yes, so I should hope. Yes, well, thank you. I'm glad to meet you. Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to my temple. Attend to his funeral.
ACHILLES: Oh, stop! You must not go.
DOCTOR: Do you realise whom you are addressing?
ACHILLES: Forgive me, father Zeus, I spoke hastily.
DOCTOR: Then do not hinder me, or I will strike you with a thunderbolt!
ACHILLES: I must brave even the wrath of Zeus, and implore you to remain.
DOCTOR: Well, I don't see why I should. I have many other commitments, you must understand.
ACHILLES: And one of them lies here, in the camp of Agamemnon, our general. Oh, hear me out, I pray. For ten long years now we have laid siege to Troy and still they defy us. Come.
[Tardis]
(In the Tardis, Vicki and Steven watch on the scanner as Achilles leads the Doctor to the top of a ridge.)
STEVEN: Where's he off to now? It's a fine time to go looking at the view.
VICKI: After all, that's why he went out there, to find out where we are. Anyway, that man looks quite friendly now. He's probably showing him the way to the nearest town.
STEVEN: Hmm, I wonder. I think I'd better try and find some more suitable clothes.
[Plain outside Troy]
ACHILLES: There they sit, secure behind their walls, whilst we rot in their summers and starve in their crack-bone winters.
(The Doctor and Achilles gaze upon the distant walled city is disturbed by the arrival of Odysseus, King of Ithaca, accompanied by a group of soldiers.)
ODYSSEUS: What's this, Achilles? So far from camp, all unprotected from a prisoner?
ACHILLES: Odysseus, this is no prisoner.
DOCTOR: Certainly not.
ODYSSEUS: Not yet a prisoner? You should have called for assistance, lad. We would not like to lose you. Come, let us escort you homewards. Night might fall and find thee from thy tent.
DOCTOR: I wouldn't stand for that if I were you!
ODYSSEUS: Are, but then, old fellow, you are not the Lord Achilles. He is not the one to look for trouble, are you, boy?
ACHILLES: Have a care, pirate. Are there no Trojan throats to slit, that you dare tempt my sword?
ODYSSEUS: Throats enough, I grant you. Some half score Trojans will not whistle easy tonight. But what of you?
ACHILLES: Oh, but a trifle. I met Prince Hector. Here he lies.
ODYSSEUS: Zeus!
ACHILLES: Was instrumental.
ODYSSEUS: No doubt, no doubt. But what a year is this for plague. Even the strongest might fall. Prince Hector, ha, that he should come to this. You met him here, you say, as he lay dying?
ACHILLES: I met him, Odysseus, in single combat.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, it's true.
ODYSSEUS: And raced him round the walls till down he fell exhausted. A famous victory.
ACHILLES: I met him face to face, I say. Battled with him for an hour or more, until my greater strength overcame him.
ODYSSEUS: Bravo. But tell me, Lightfoot, what of Zeus? You say he intervened, and then?
ACHILLES: Why, there he stands, and listens to your mockery.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, I find it most interesting.
ODYSSEUS: What? This old man? This threadbare grey pate? Oh come, Achilles.
ACHILLES: Oh, forgive him, father Zeus! He is but a rough and simple sailor.
ODYSSEUS: Aye, very rough, but scarce as simple as you seem to think. What have we here?
(Odysseus approaches the Tardis to examine it.)
[Tardis]
VICKI: Steven, he's coming in.
(Steven has changed into Greek robes)
STEVEN: No, the Doctor'll stop him. I must go out and help.
VICKI: No. Don't. Just a minute. Here. Take this, and wait behind the door, hmm?
[Plain outside Troy]
ODYSSEUS: The temple of Zeus, you say? A trifle modest, is it not, for so powerful a god.
DOCTOR: This is my travelling temple. Being small, it's convenient.
ACHILLES: You shall not enter.
DOCTOR: Certainly not! In any case, I must be off.
ACHILLES: Oh, then will you not stay with us?
DOCTOR: No. I, er
ODYSSEUS: What? You will to the Grecian camp. If indeed you be Zeus, we have need of your assistance. Now, do not cower there, lads. Zeus is on our side, so Agamemnon keeps insisting. Bear him up, and let us carry him in triumph to the camp.
DOCTOR: I am quite capable of walking.
ACHILLES: Odysseus, I claim the honour to escort him. Let him walk to camp with me.
ODYSSEUS: You shall have honour enough, and maybe we shall have a little of the truth. Father Zeus, we await you. We crave the pleasure of your company at supper, and perhaps a tale or two of Aphrodite?
DOCTOR: I refuse to enter into any kind of vulgar bawdry.
ODYSSEUS: Then you shall tell why we find you lurking near our lines. That should prove equally entertaining. Take him, lads! And two of you there, take up this carrion!
DOCTOR: Have a care! Do not touch me!
ACHILLES: You will pay for this, Odysseus.
ODYSSEUS: Ha, will I? We shall see. This much must we do for the Lord Achilles, lest none believe his story.
ACHILLES: You will not laugh so loud, I think, when Agamemnon hears of this.
[Tardis]
(From the Tardis, Steven and Vicki watch as the soldiers march out of sight, carrying the Doctor.)
STEVEN: I am going after him. I'm sure he's been taken prisoner.
VICKI: Oh, come on. The big man was laughing.
STEVEN: It didn't look as though the Doctor made a joke.
VICKI: Anyway, we don't even know where we are.
STEVEN: Well, the Doctor said they were Greeks. We're probably in Greece.
VICKI: Oh, but that would be wonderful, wouldn't it? We might meet the Heroes. We might
STEVEN: Those men who carried off the Doctor wouldn't be heroes, or anything like them. That's why I've got to go and get him.
VICKI: Well, I'm coming with you.
STEVEN: And how far do you think you can get on that ankle?
VICKI: It's not so bad now. I'll manage.
STEVEN: No. You stay here. Rest your ankle, watch the scanners. You'll be perfectly safe. When you see the Doctor and me coming, open the doors. But not otherwise.
VICKI: But Steven, we mustn't
STEVEN: No! I haven't got time to argue. I want to get to the Doctor before they cut his head off. Now stay here.
VICKI: Goodbye. I hope you find the Doctor, that's all.
[Agamemnon's tent]
(The Greek encampment is a short distance from the walls of Troy. Inside the largest tent in the camp, the army's general, Agamemnon, is feasting with his brother, Menelaus.)
AGAMEMNON: Now you drink too much, Menelaus. I've told you about it before. Why can't you learn to behave like a king instead of a dropsical old camp follower? Have a little dignity. Try to remember that you're my brother, can't you?
MENELAUS: One of the reasons I drink, Agamemnon, is to forget that I am your brother. Another is this ridiculous Trojan expedition. We've been here for ten years! I want to go home. Besides, I'm not getting any younger.
AGAMEMNON: You won't get any older if you talk to me like that, brother or no brother. What's the matter with you, man? Don't you want to get Helen back? Don't you don't you want to see your wife again?
MENELAUS: Quite frankly, no. If you must know, I was heartily glad to see the back of her.
AGAMEMNON: You mustn't talk like that in front of these.
MENELAUS: It wasn't the first time she'd allowed herself to be abducted. I can't keep on going off to the ends of the Earth to get her back. It makes me a laughing stock.
AGAMEMNON: Now you knew perfectly well what she was like before you married her. Besides, this is a question of honour, to get her back. Family honour, don't you understand?
MENELAUS: Not to mention the trade routes through the Bosphorus, of course.
AGAMEMNON: What have they got to do with it?
MENELAUS: It isn't enough for you that you control the Achaean League, is it? Now you want to take over Asia Minor as well, only King Priam of Troy stands in your way.
AGAMEMNON: May I remind you that these ambitions would have been served just as well if you had killed Paris in single combat, as you were expected to?
MENELAUS: Yes. But, I
AGAMEMNON: And don't interrupt.
MENELAUS: Oh.
AGAMEMNON: Priam would have been quite prepared to let this contest settle the issue between us.
MENELAUS: Yes. But
AGAMEMNON: Don't blame me because you've landed us into a full scale war.
MENELAUS: Yes, but I did challenge Paris, if you remember, ten years ago. Fellow wouldn't accept.
AGAMEMNON: He's just about as cowardly as you are.
MENELAUS: For the last time, I am not a coward.
AGAMEMNON: Well in that case, why don't you challenge someone else?
MENELAUS: Anyone.
AGAMEMNON: Challenge Hector.
MENELAUS: Hector? Hector? Are you mad? Why, that'd be suicide.
AGAMEMNON: Well, you don't know until you've tried it, do you? You know, I think that's a very good idea of yours.
MENELAUS: Oh. So you want to see me killed, is that it? Is nothing sacred to you?
AGAMEMNON: A brother's honour. I hold that more sacred than anything else. That's why I shall issue the challenge in the morning, on your behalf.
MENELAUS: On my behalf?
ACHILLES: My king. Hector is dead.
AGAMEMNON: What? How did this happen?
ACHILLES: This very day. I slew him after an hour or more of single combat.
AGAMEMNON: Oh, you did. Oh dear. There's another good idea wasted.
ACHILLES: And what do you mean, wasted? Here have I been, fight
AGAMEMNON: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's only that Menelaus was just about to challenge him.
MENELAUS: Now don't think I'm not pleased with what you've done. I am.
AGAMEMNON: Sit down. Tell us all about it.
ACHILLES: But, I have other more important news, and there isn't much time.
MENELAUS: What, more important than the death of Hector?
ACHILLES: At the height of my battle with Hector, there came a sudden lightning flash, and Zeus appeared before me.
MENELAUS: Zeus! Oh. Eh?
AGAMEMNON: It's all right, he's been listening to too much propaganda, haven't you, Achilles? You mustn't take so much notice of that.
ACHILLES: Look, I tell you it's true. He appeared to me from nowhere in the shape of a little old man.
AGAMEMNON: Oh! Where is he now, this little old Zeus?
ACHILLES: He was about to accompany me here when Odysseus and his men arrived. They took him prisoner.
AGAMEMNON: They what?
ACHILLES: Odysseus mocked him then they seized him and are bringing him to camp. I ran ahead to warn you.
AGAMEMNON: You did well. Perdition take Odysseus. You can't be too careful in matters like this. He may in fact be Zeus. Guard! Go find the Lord Odysseus. Command his presence here. (A while later, Odysseus, having received the command, storms into Agamemnon's tent.)
ODYSSEUS: Who dares command Odysseus? Well, Agamemnon, is it you? Well, we will not quarrel when we have a guest of such importance. Here's this old man, claims to be our father Zeus.
(The Doctor is shoved into the tent.)
DOCTOR: You may rise. I am most displeased. Who is in command here?
AGAMEMNON: I have that honour.
DOCTOR: As I have always understood. Yet this mountebank Odysseus appears to be a law unto himself. He makes fun of his guests, and laughs at Zeus.
AGAMEMNON: He will be reprimanded, if you are indeed who you say you are.
DOCTOR: If I am not a god, how do you account for my supernatural knowledge?
AGAMEMNON: Knowledge of what?
DOCTOR: I could tell you one or two things that might surprise you.
AGAMEMNON: Oh? Name one.
DOCTOR: Your wife, for instance, is unfaithful to you.
AGAMEMNON: What!
ODYSSEUS: Everyone knows that.
MENELAUS: I've never heard it.
ODYSSEUS: Everyone, that is, except you and him, of course.
AGAMEMNON: Silence! I will not have my wife's name banded about like that. Besides, we have no way of checking on your slanderous assertions, divinely inspired or no. What do you advise?
DOCTOR: Then treat me with honour and return me to my temple, before I really become angry.
ACHILLES: I tell you, Agamemnon, he has come to help us.
DOCTOR: If I were an enemy, what could one man do alone and unarmed against the glory that is Greece, hmm?
AGAMEMNON: Glory that is Greece, hmm? A neat phrase.
ODYSSEUS: The man is a spy. Deal with him and be brief, or I shall undertake it for you.
ACHILLES: After I am dead, Odysseus, and only then.
ODYSSEUS: If you so insist, I shall be most happy to oblige, Lightfoot.
AGAMEMNON: Silence! This is time for thought, not swordplay.
ODYSSEUS: Well, since my thoughts are of such little account, allow me to withdraw.
ACHILLES: Forgive him, father Zeus. The man is a boor. If you command me, I will deal with him.
DOCTOR: No, no, Achilles, leave him. Why try to kill him now when you are in sight of victory.
AGAMEMNON: Do you prophesy as much as that?
DOCTOR: I could almost guarantee it.
MENELAUS: Almost? Oh, not another ten years.
DOCTOR: But first I would like to know am I to be treated as a god, or as an enemy? If you kill me now, it will probably cost you the war.
AGAMEMNON: Yes, that is so. On the other hand, if we don't kill you and you are a spy, the same thing might happen. I propose to place you under arrest.
DOCTOR: Arrest? But I must return to my TAR, er, my temple.
AGAMEMNON: A reverent arrest. You must not be offended. We shall enjoy the benefit of your experience and your advice, and in return you will enjoy our hospitality.
DOCTOR: Very well.
AGAMEMNON: Excellent. Do sit down and have a ham bone.
(Resigned to his fate, the Doctor joins Agamemnon and his brother at their table.)
[Greek camp]
Steven has waited until nightfall to approach the Greek encampment. Now, under cover of darkness, he picks his way towards the lights of the camp, dodging past the dozen sentries. But Steven's progress is observed from the shadows by a man with a patch over one eye. The Greek spy, Cyclops. Odysseus meanwhile dismisses the guard outside Agamemnon's tent in the hope of overhearing something of use from within.)
ODYSSEUS: Get thee to thy rest.
(Once the guard has gone, Cyclops emerges from the shadows.)
ODYSSEUS: Ah, my little Cyclops. What news, hmm?
(Cyclops gestures.)
ODYSSEUS: The stranger? Ah, the other stranger. Another stranger. From the temple. Temple. In the camp! You think he is my enemy. You have done well. Now, my little chatterbox, go back to the temple, see what happens, hmm?
(Odysseus spots Steven approaching.)
ODYSSEUS: Get you gone.
(Cyclops leaves and Odysseus ducks out of sight. As Steven peers into the tent, the Greek appears out of the shadows behind him.)
ODYSSEUS: What have we here? Another god, perhaps?
STEVEN: No, I'm just a traveller. I lost my way and saw the light.
ODYSSEUS: At least the god Apollo, to walk invisible past sentries.
STEVEN: Sentries? I saw no sentries.
ODYSSEUS: Oh? Then perhaps they are sleeping with a knife between their ribs. Shall we go seek them together?
STEVEN: Put away your sword. I'm a friend.
ODYSSEUS: But a friend of whom?
STEVEN: What do you mean?
ODYSSEUS: That, that god who feasts yonder, that Trojan spy.
STEVEN: I don't know him.
ODYSSEUS: Do you not? We shall see! Move!
[Agamemnon's tent]
(Odysseus pushes Steven into Agamemnon's tent.)
AGAMEMNON: Who is this?
ODYSSEUS: My prisoner, the god Apollo. Achilles, will you not worship him? He is a Trojan spy, but of such undoubted divinity he must be spared.
AGAMEMNON: Are you a Trojan, fellow?
STEVEN: No, of course not. I'm just a traveller, of a sort.
AGAMEMNON: Do you know this man?
DOCTOR: Only for what he seems to be.
ODYSSEUS: An acquaintance from Olympus, come to meet his father.
STEVEN: My father? I've never seen him before in my life.
AGAMEMNON: That's enough! Take him away, Odysseus. Why should I be troubled with such petty prisoners? Cut out his tongue for insolence, and make an end.
ODYSSEUS: Softly now! All-seeing Zeus, you see into our very hearts and know their secrets?
DOCTOR: Quite so.
ODYSSEUS: Then is this man a spy?
DOCTOR: I do not know, and I do not care.
ODYSSEUS: Shall he then be put to death?
DOCTOR: I think it would be much safer on the whole. Stop! Have you lost your senses?
ODYSSEUS: Now we have it! On second thoughts, you think we should release him to return to Troy.
DOCTOR: Do not mock me, my Lord Odysseus. Would you stain the tent of Agamemnon's with a Trojan's blood? I claim this man as a sacrifice to Olympus! Bring him to my temple in the plain, at sunrise in the morning, and I will show you a miracle.
ODYSSEUS: A miracle. Oh, that would be most satisfactory.
MENELAUS: Convincing proof, I would say.
AGAMEMNON: What sort of miracle would
DOCTOR: I will strike him with a bolt from heaven!
ODYSSEUS: Very spectacular!
(Two guards drag the struggling Cyclops into the tent. AGAMEMNON: Ah, what's this? Who's this?
ODYSSEUS: Release him.
AGAMEMNON: All right, Odysseus. Who is this man?
ODYSSEUS: My Cyclops. My little servant. So.
AGAMEMNON: Well, can't he speak?
ODYSSEUS: Alas no more. For once he spoke too loud for comfort, and stammered on a knife. But he speaks to me. Get you gone and wait for me. Thunder at the temple tomorrow, did you say?
DOCTOR: Yes, I did.
ODYSSEUS: Our weather is so unpredictable. If there is no thunder on the plain, I have a sword will serve for two as well as one. Your temple, as you call it, has disappeared.
DOCTOR: Disappeared?
ODYSSEUS: Vanished into thin air.
Episode Two - Small Prophet, Quick Return
[Plain outside Troy]
(The following morning, the Doctor, Steven, Agamemnon, Odysseus and a company of soldiers travel to the place where the Tardis landed. There is no sign of the ship.)
AGAMEMNON: Well, father Zeus, where is this temple of yours?
DOCTOR: Well, it should be about here somewhere. Rather hard to understand, these sandy plains are so much alike.
AGAMEMNON: Well, something has been here. Look.
ODYSSEUS: And someone, too. For see, some several tracks lead off to Troy. Lord Agamemnon, admit your fault. These men are spies!
AGAMEMNON: So it would begin to seem. Bring on the prisoner. Well, father Zeus, you have but one chance left to prove yourself. Kill this Trojan spy.
ODYSSEUS: Yes, fling a thunderbolt or some such to rise to the occasion.
DOCTOR: This sacrifice can only be performed within the temple.
ODYSSEUS: Which temple is in Troy, therefore would we release you? Just so. I for one have had enough.
DOCTOR: Do not labour this point. I am not Zeus, and this young man is a friend of mine. Neither of us are Trojans, sir.
AGAMEMNON: I care not who you are. Seize him! It is enough that you have trifled with my credulity and made me look a fool in front of all my captains. Now, finish the business and be brief. And do not bring their bodies back. Let them rot here, so that they can be an example to their fellows.
STEVEN: Are you quite sure Vicki couldn't have dematerialised the Tardis?
DOCTOR: Of course she couldn't. I told you last night.
ODYSSEUS: First of all, myrmidons. Who are you?
DOCTOR: I think you had better tell him.
STEVEN: Yes, well, this may take some time.
ODYSSEUS: I will be patient. But this time, if you value your lives, do not lie to me.
[Troy city square]
(In the main square of Troy, a crowd has gathered. A group of soldiers are man-handling the off the cart that brought it into the city.)
PARIS: Sound the trumpets! Dismiss!
PRIAM: Silence! Great Horse of Asia, is none of us to rest? Who's there?
PARIS: Paris, father, returned from patrol.
PRIAM: Well, what news? Have you avenged your brother Hector? Have you? Have you killed Achilles?
PARIS: I sought Achilles, father, even to the Grecian lines, but he skulked within his tent. He feared to face me.
PRIAM: Well go back and wait until he gets his courage up. Upon my soul, what sort of brother are you? Furthermore, what sort of son? What, what is that you have got there?
PARIS: Ah. A prize, father, captured from the Greeks.
PRIAM: Hmm, captured, you say? I wager they were glad to see the back of it. What is it?
PARIS: What is it? Well, it's, ah it's, ah sort of, er, a shrine, or so it seems.
(King Priam strides up to the Tardis door and tries to open it. Inside, Vicki watches with increasing horror as Priam's face looms on the scanner.)
PRIAM: And what, may I ask, do you propose to do with this seeming shrine?
PARIS: Well, I had rather thought of putting it in the temple.
CASSANDRA: Ha! You're not putting that in my temple.
PRIAM: I should think not indeed, bringing back blessed shrines. Go back and bring Achilles' body, if you want to do something useful. Get back to the war.
CASSANDRA: And take that thing with you.
PARIS: Oh, really! If you if you knew the weight of this, this, this thing. Father, if Cassandra doesn't want it, can't we just leave it where it is for the moment?
PRIAM: In the middle of the square?
PARIS: Yes. I mean, it could be a sort of, er, sort of a monument.
CASSANDRA: A monument to what?
PARIS: Well, to my initiative, for instance. After all, it is the first sizeable trophy we've captured since the war started. Probably turn out to be very useful.
CASSANDRA: What sort of use would you suggest?
PARIS: What sort of use. Well, I don't quite know, actually. But, I mean, once we've examined it thoroughly, it'll probably prove to have all sorts of uses.
CASSANDRA: I'm quite sure. Uses to the Greeks.
PARIS: What do you mean?
CASSANDRA: Why do you imagine that they allowed you to capture it?
PARIS: Allowed me? Allowed me? Now you look here, Cassandra.
CASSANDRA: Where did you find it?
PARIS: Where'd I find it? Where d'you think? Out there in the middle of the plain.
CASSANDRA: Unguarded, I suppose.
PARIS: Yes, of course. I, I mean, yes, it was.
CASSANDRA: Just as I thought. Can't you see that you were meant to bring it into Troy?
PARIS: No, I can't see, quite frankly.
PRIAM: I think I'm beginning to see.
PARIS: What are you two getting at?
CASSANDRA: You've broken my dreams. The auguries were bad this morning. I woke full of foreboding.
PARIS: Never knew her when she didn't.
PRIAM: Paris, your sister is High Priestess. Let her speak.
PARIS: All right, Cassandra. Now, what was this dream about?
CASSANDRA: Thank you. I dreamed that out on the plain the Greeks had left a gift, and although what it was remained unclear, we brought it into Troy. Then at night, from out its belly, soldiers came and fell upon us as we slept.
PARIS: Yes, well I hardly think we need trouble to interpret that one. Oh really, Cassandra, have you looked at this thing, as you call it? I mean, just how many soldiers do you think you can get inside that? A whole regiment, perhaps? I mean, you'd be very lucky to get even two medium-sized soldiers out of that thing.
CASSANDRA: Fool! One soldier could unbar the gate and so admit an army. It's exactly the sort of scheme Odysseus would think of.
PRIAM: Why don't we open the thing and see?
PARIS: Yes, well, that is rather the point. You see, there is a door, but it doesn't seem to open.
CASSANDRA: Just as I said, it's locked from the inside.
PRIAM: Oh, it is, is it? Stand aside.
(Priam attacks the Tardis door with Paris' sword, but to no effect.)
PARIS: Well, there you are, father. Perhaps you'll believe me next time, I suppose. Oh, Cassandra, perhaps you would like to care to have a try.
CASSANDRA: The thing need not be opened. Bring branches, fire and sacrificial oil. We'll make of it an offering to the gods of Troy. And if there be someone within, so much the greater gift.
[Tardis]
(Panicked by what she's heard, Vicki goes to the Tardis wardrobe room to find something suitable to wear. She becomes increasingly agitated as she fails to find anything appropriate.)
[Plain outside Troy]
(Steven meanwhile is trying to explain their presence to Odysseus.)
STEVEN: So really, you see, we arrived in your time entirely by accident. It's just another miscalculation by the Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well, I would hardly call it a miscalculation, my boy.
STEVEN: Well, then, what would you call it?
DOCTOR: Well, I think with all eternity to choose from, I did rather well to get us back to Earth.
STEVEN: I'm very glad you're pleased with yourself. I suppose I should be grateful for standing here, trussed like a chicken, ready to have me throat cut.
ODYSSEUS: No one mentioned cutting throats.
DOCTOR: No, they didn't.
ODYSSEUS: I had I had something more lingering in mind.
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I dare say. I suppose some kind of ritual death, I presume?
ODYSSEUS: Sit down. Sit down! In my life I have travelled far, and met many deplorable people, but not one of them has had the credulity strained as I have strained today by your effrontery, Doctor. Your story is probably true, otherwise you would never have dared to tell it. Stand up! I propose to release you.
STEVEN: We might have expected That's very nice of you.
ODYSSEUS: No, no, it isn't. Release, but on certain conditions.
DOCTOR: And what are those conditions, may I ask?
ODYSSEUS: That you use your supernatural knowledge to devise a scheme whereby we capture Troy. I will give you two days. Two days to think of something really ingenious.
DOCTOR: Two days! That isn't very long, is it.
ODYSSEUS: It should be ample if you are as clever as you say you are.
STEVEN: What happens if we fail?
ODYSSEUS: If I fail, then I shall have been foolish. And I would hate to seem foolish having believed your story. Indeed, I should be very, very angry!
(Odysseus brings his sword down to neatly sever the traveller's bonds.)
[Troy city square]
(In the main square of Troy, branches have been piled around the base of the Tardis. Priam, Paris and Cassandra watch as a priestess pours oil over the wood. Soldiers stand ready with torches.)
PRIAM: That should make quite a blaze.
PARIS: Yes. Just one moment. Before we actually light the fire, shouldn't we see if such a gift would be acceptable to the gods? I mean, if it does contain treachery, might it not seem the most awful insult?
PRIAM: Oh, good point, I suppose. Have a word with them, Cassandra.
CASSANDRA: I assure you it's quite unnecessary.
PARIS: Yes, but better to be on the safe side. Don't you think?
CASSANDRA: Oh, hear me, you horses of the heavens, who gallop with our destiny. If you would accept this gift, let us see a sign. Show us your will, I pray you, for we are merely mortal and need your guidance.
(At that moment, Vicki steps down from the Tardis, dressed in an elegant gown.)
PARIS: Well!
(She smiles disarmingly)
PARIS: This is no horse of heaven.
PRIAM: And this is no soldier either.
CASSANDRA: Who are you?
VICKI: I'm nobody of any importance. I'm just someone from the future.
PARIS: The future?
CASSANDRA: How do you so? You're no Trojan goddess. Are you some puny pagan goddess of the Greeks?
VICKI: Of course not. I'm as human as you are.
CASSANDRA: Then how comes it that you claim to know the future?
PARIS: Oh really, Cassandra. You're always going on and on about it yourself.
CASSANDRA: I'm a priestess, skilled in augury.
PARIS: Yes, I know, all those dreary flights of birds and entrails and all that kind of thing. Well, I mean, perhaps she's read the same ones. I shouldn't imagine you have a monopoly.
CASSANDRA: Are you a priestess?
VICKI: Not that I know of. I mean, I never took any exams or anything.
CASSANDRA: Then how dare you practice prophecy!
VICKI: Well, I haven't done yet, have I?
CASSANDRA: She's some drab of Agamemnon's, sent to spread dissention.
VICKI: I'm nothing of the sort.
PARIS: Of course you're not. I can tell.
VICKI: I've never even met Agamemnon.
PRIAM: I wish to question her. Come here, child. That's better. Now, are you a Greek?
VICKI: No, I am from the future. So you see, I don't have to prophesy, because as far as I'm concerned, the future has already happened!
PRIAM: I don't quite follow.
CASSANDRA: Of course you don't. She's trying to confuse you. Kill the girl before she addles all our wits. She's a sorceress. She must die.
PARIS: Oh, don't be absurd. You're not to touch her.
PRIAM: I wish you'd both keep quiet just for a moment. Now don't be frightened, child. You shall die when I say so, and not a moment before.
VICKI: That's very comforting.
PRIAM: Now, you see? Neither of you has the least idea how to handle children. All you need is a little kindness and understanding. Now, first of all, what is your name?
VICKI: Vicki.
PRIAM: Vicki? That's a very outlandish name.
CASSANDRA: A heathen sort of name, if you ask me.
PRIAM: Nobody did ask you, Cassandra. Well, I really don't think we can call you Vicki. We shall have to think another one for you, shan't we? Let me see, how about, Cressida. Would you think that would be all right?
VICKI: It's a very pretty name.
PRIAM: Very well, then. Cressida it shall be. Now you claim, Cressida, to come from the future?
VICKI: Yes.
PRIAM: So you know everything that's going to happen.
VICKI: Well, I
PRIAM: Look, Cressida, come into the palace. I expect you could do with something to eat.
VICKI: Oh, thank you, that would be very nice.
PARIS: Ah, that's a very good idea, I've not eaten since the
PRIAM: You get back to the war! If you've not killed Achilles by nightfall, I shall be seriously displeased.
PARIS: But look, father, why couldn't Troilus go? I mean, it's much more his sort of thing.
PRIAM: Hector. Don't argue, Paris! Get back to the war!
PARIS: Right. Well, bye, Cressida. We shall meet again this evening, all being well.
VICKI: Goodbye, Paris. Thank you very much for trying to help me.
PARIS: Oh, not at all. It was a great pleasure.
PRIAM: Come, Cressida. You and I have a great deal to say to each other. I have a feeling you are going to bring us luck.
CASSANDRA: She will bring nothing but doom, death and disaster.
PRIAM: Don't pay any attention to Cassandra. She takes the gloomiest view. I suspect it's a kind of insurance, so that if things do go wrong she can always say 'I told you so.' Come along.
CASSANDRA: Hear me, gods of Troy. Strike with your lightnings this usurper. Or show me a sign that she is false, and then I'll strike her down myself!
[Greek tent]
(In a tent in the Greek camp, Steven and the Doctor are discussing plans for the capture of Troy.)
STEVEN: Why not the wooden horse?
DOCTOR: Oh, my dear boy, I couldn't possibly suggest that. The whole story is obviously absurd. Probably invented by Homer as some good dramatic device. No, I think it would be completely impractical.
STEVEN: Yes, well, if you say so, Doctor. But in that case, hurry up and think of something else. The only way we can rescue Vicki is to get into Troy. We've only got two days left.
DOCTOR: Oh, patience, my
ODYSSEUS: Rather less now. Haven't you thought of anything yet?
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, I have thought up of some conditions of my own.
ODYSSEUS: Oh, really? I don't see how you're going to enforce them, but what are they?
DOCTOR: Well, it's all very simple. That is, if you want me to help you sack the city, you must promise me that Vicki will be spared.
ODYSSEUS: Vicki? Who's she?
STEVEN: Oh, you know, I told you about her. Look, if they have taken the time machine into Troy, then she'll still be inside it.
ODYSSEUS: I hope she is, for her sake. Because if she left it, she's past worrying about now.
DOCTOR: Well, we're not quite sure of that, are we?
ODYSSEUS: Perhaps not, but I don't know what you expect me to do about it. When we enter Troy, I can't stop every woman and ask her if she's a friend of yours. It wouldn't be practical.
MESSENGER: Lord Odysseus?
ODYSSEUS: Yes, what is it?
MESSENGER: Prince Paris has called again for my Lord Achilles.
ODYSSEUS: Well?
MESSENGER: Our Lord Agamemnon asked that you go in his stead.
ODYSSEUS: To fight that fool?
MESSENGER: Yes.
ODYSSEUS: That puny princeling cannot fight! A waste of time. Go tell our Lord Agamemnon, if he wants someone to fight Achilles' battles, to go himself. Now get out.
STEVEN: Is Paris such a bad fighter?
ODYSSEUS: The weakling cannot stomach killing.
STEVEN: Let me go to Troy. Now, before you attack.
ODYSSEUS: What's that?
STEVEN: To get Vicki. After all, I'm no use here. I'm sure the Doctor can manage very well without me.
DOCTOR: My dear boy, are you quite sure?
STEVEN: Look, it's perfectly simple. I allow Paris to take me prisoner.
ODYSSEUS: You really are most anxious to die. They will take you for a spy, as we did.
STEVEN: Not if I were wearing a uniform. I'd be a prisoner of war.
ODYSSEUS: Well, I don't know what they're doing with their prisoners of war at the moment. It rather depends on how they're feeling at the time, I imagine. They're a very unpredictable lot, these Trojans.
STEVEN: Well, I'm prepared to take the risk if you're prepared to let me go.
ODYSSEUS: Really, that's very courageous of you.
STEVEN: Then you'll help me?
ODYSSEUS: I don't see why not, because as you said, you're of little particular use here.
STEVEN: What about the uniform?
ODYSSEUS: Ah! Ah, let me see. Last week, my friend Diomede died from his wounds in this camp. Now, you're about his size. You'll find his thing in the next tent.
STEVEN: Thank you, Odysseus.
ODYSSEUS: You really are a very brave man indeed. I should have been most distressed to have had to put you to death myself.
STEVEN: A very consoling thought. I'll see you both before I go.
ODYSSEUS: Now then, Doctor, to work. I hope you're not going to disappoint me.
DOCTOR: I sincerely hope not. Have you thought of tunnelling?
ODYSSEUS: It's been done. What we want is something revolutionary.
DOCTOR: Ah, yes. Dear me, sear me. Well, tell me, have you thought about flying machines?
ODYSSEUS: No, I can't say I have.
[Plain outside Troy]
(Outside Troy, Paris is seeking Achilles.)
PARIS: Achilles! (quietly) Achilles! Come out and fight, you jackal! Paris, prince of Troy, brother of Hector, seeks revenge. Do you not dare to face me?
STEVEN: I dare to face you, Paris. Turn and draw your sword.
PARIS: Ah. No, you're not Achilles. Are you?
STEVEN: I am Diomede, friend of Odysseus.
PARIS: Oh, Diomede, I do not want your blood. It's Achilles I seek.
STEVEN: And must my Lord Achilles be roused to undertake your death, adulterer?
PARIS: Yes, well, I'm prepared to overlook that for the moment. I assure you I have no quarrel with you.
STEVEN: I'm Greek, you're Trojan. Is not that quarrel enough?
PARIS: Yes, well personally, I think this whole business has been carried just a little bit too far. I mean, that Helen thing was just a misunderstanding.
STEVEN: Which I now propose to resolve. Draw your sword.
PARIS: Oh, right. Well, you'll be sorry for this, I promise you.
(Steven and Paris fight with surprising skill, circling round each other and trading blows. Steven keeps his guard up, then pretends to trip and falls to one knee.)
PARIS: Now, die, Greek, and tell them in Hades that Paris sent you thither!
STEVEN: I yield.
PARIS: I beg your pardon?
STEVEN: I yield. I'm your prisoner.
PARIS: Well, I say, this sort of thing is just not done. I mean, surely you'd rather die than be taken prisoner?
STEVEN: Well, yes, but, only in a general sort of way, you see. You see, when I first challenged you, little did I know that you were indeed the Lion of Troy.
PARIS: Yes, I
STEVEN: I should have listened to my friends.
PARIS: Why? What do they say?
STEVEN: Why, that they would rather face Prince Hector and Troilus together than the mighty Paris. That you are unconquerable.
PARIS: Really? They don't say that in Troy.
STEVEN: Oh, I could tell them a tale or two of your valour that that would make even King Priam blanch to hear.
PARIS: I say, could you really?
STEVEN: Yes, and will. Why, I hope my Lord Achilles does not meet you. Even now he searches the plain for you, and what indeed would happen to our cause if he were vanquished?
PARIS: Well, I don't really see how I can oblige him if I have a prisoner. I mean, there will come a day of reckoning, of course, but, well, for the moment, pick up your sword! Now, I suppose I shall have to drive you like a Grecian cur into the city, won't I? Excuse me a moment. Farewell, Achilles! For today, Paris of Troy has other business! Come, dog! (Paris retrieves his sword and they depart for Troy) Oh, yes.
[Priam's palace]
(Vicki, meanwhile, is dining with King Priam.)
VICKI: Oh, thank you, that was delicious.
PRIAM: You're sure you wouldn't like a little more breast of peacock?
VICKI: No, thank you. I couldn't eat another mouthful. How on earth do you manage to live like this when you're under siege?
PRIAM: My nephew Aeneas brings us a little something from time to time. He's in command of our mobile force. Spends most of his time harrying the Greek supply routes with his cavalry.
VICKI: I didn't know cavalry was invented yet?
PRIAM: Oh, bless my soul, yes. We are basically horsemen. Our ancestors came from central Asia, found this strategic position and chose to fortify it. We only need now to beat the Greeks a few score more horses.
VICKI: You seem very fond of horses.
PRIAM: Fond of them? I should think we are. We worship them. A Trojan would do anything for a horse.
VICKI: Funny you should say that.
PRIAM: Funny, why? What do you mean?
VICKI: Well, it's nothing. It's just a story I heard a long time ago.
PRIAM: A story about this war?
VICKI: Well, yes. But it's nothing. I'm sure it's just a legend.
PRIAM: What sort of a legend? Cressida, I'm relying on you to tell us everything you remember. The smallest thing may be of importance.
VICKI: Yes. Prince Troilus, who was here just now. Is he your youngest son?
PRIAM: Troilus? Oh yes. He's about the same age as you, I suppose. But why do you ask? I though we were supposed to be talking about
VICKI: He's very good-looking, isn't he?
PRIAM: Is he? Oh, I never noticed myself. I don't particularly notice good looks. Only gets you into trouble. Look at Paris. Handsome as the devil, but a complete coward.
VICKI: I thought he was rather nice.
PRIAM: Yes, women generally do. That's what got us into all this trouble. Oh, of course, you've not met Helen yet, have you?
VICKI: No, I'm looking forward to that.
PRIAM: Yes, well, she's. Oh, never mind. If only he'd met a nice, sensible girl like you. I always say it's character that counts, not good looks.
VICKI: Thank you, kindly.
PRIAM: Oh, no. I didn't mean. Good heavens, no. I wish you wouldn't keep changing the subject, Cressida. Funny you should say that about Troilus. I thought he was rather taken with you.
VICKI: Did you really think so?
PRIAM: Of course I did. I thought we were supposed to be talking about the war. Now don't keep changing the subject. You were saying something about a legend.
VICKI: Was I? Yes. Well, you see
PARIS: Father! I've captured a Greek!
PRIAM: Paris, when will you learn to stop bursting in here when I'm busy?
PARIS: Oh. Well, I just thought you might want to question him, that's all.
PRIAM: Well I may do so in due course, but
PARIS: Oh good, he's just outside.
PRIAM: Oh, you've not brought him here, into the palace?
PARIS: Oh, don't worry. He's thoroughly calm.
PRIAM: That's not the point.
PARIS: Yes, well, now he is here, couldn't I just bring him in?
PRIAM: Oh, I suppose so.
PARIS: Good.
PRIAM: I'm sorry, Cressida. This is utterly unforgiveable.
PARIS: Here, Diomede! Come on, step lively now!
VICKI: Steven! What on earth are you?
STEVEN: Shh, Vicki.
PRIAM: What was that he called her?
CASSANDRA: You heard, didn't you? That was the name she called herself when we found her. And she recognised him too. Since he's a Greek, what more proof do you need that she's a spy? Guards! Kill her. Kill both of them!
(Vicki runs to Steven's arms as the guards draw their swords and advance.)
Episode Three - Death of a Spy
[Priam's palace]
VICKI: No! No!
PARIS: Guards, sheath arms! And since when have you given orders to the military? I'm in command here!
CASSANDRA: Of everything except your senses.
PARIS: I am at present officer commanding all Trojan forces/
CASSANDRA: Ha!
PARIS: And I will not tolerate interference from a fortune-teller of notorious unreliability.
CASSANDRA: How dare you! I am High Priestess of Troy!
PARIS: All right then, get back to your temple before you give us all galloping religious mania. Oh, really, father. I can't tolerate another of her tedious tirades at the moment.
CASSANDRA: Father, do you hear him?
PRIAM: Yes, it's quite refreshing. It seems there's a man lurking behind that flaccid facade after all.
PARIS: Really, father, I do wish you'd refrain from patronising me in front of the prisoner.
PRIAM: The prisoner. Oh, that's it. One pathetic prisoner and he thinks he's Hercules. Your success has gone to your head.
PARIS: Just before you start sneering at this prisoner, perhaps you should know that his name is Diomede. And if you look in the Greek army lists, you'll see he's quite a catch.
STEVEN: Which none but you could have caught, oh Lion of Troy.
CASSANDRA: What was that?
PARIS: Well, there you are, you see. Right. Go on, go on. Tell them, Diomede.
STEVEN: We fought. I lost. I am not ashamed. There is none in all our ranks who could stand against the wrath of Paris when he seeks revenge.
PARIS: Yes, very good. Very good, yes. There you are, you see? I'm treated with more respect by the enemy than I am by my own family.
CASSANDRA: They don't know you as well as we do.
PARIS: Perhaps better! And perhaps the time has come for you to start revising your opinions, sister.
CASSANDRA: You forget one thing. Your prisoner and that girl have clearly met before.
VICKI: Why won't you let me explain that. It's really all quite simple.
PRIAM: Yes, I'm sure it is. But Paris claimed Diomede here as a Greek prisoner. And Cassandra claims that you are a Greek spy.
CASSANDRA: And a sorceress.
PRIAM: Yes, quite. After all, you do claim to know the future.
VICKI: Yes, but don't you see, that's
PRIAM: Hush, my child. This war with the Greeks has been going on for ten long years, and frankly we're very bored with being penned up here. Now if you are what you really say you are, as a pledge of good faith to us, you must either give me information that will lead to our speedy victory, or use your supernatural powers to turn the tide of battle in our favour.
VICKI: But suppose I don't? Suppose the Greeks win?
CASSANDRA: You will be burnt as a sorceress, a false prophet, and a spy.
PRIAM: Well, as one of them, anyway. But I have every confidence in you, Cressida. And I will give you one whole day to decide which to do.
STEVEN: One day?
PRIAM: Yes.
STEVEN: But
PRIAM: Till tomorrow evening, to be precise. Now if you have no objection, I think they ought to be taken away.
PARIS: Oh, yes, yes, I think that's all very fair.
VICKI: Where are they taking us?
PRIAM: To the dungeons. Oh, don't worry, you'll find them quite comfortable. I often spend an hour or two down there myself when I've got tired of things up here.
STEVEN: How long do you intend to keep us there?
CASSANDRA: Till you rot.
PRIAM: Oh, well really, Cassandra. Though that may be true in your case, Diomede, but I trust Cressida will join us before tomorrow evening.
PARIS: Oh, yes, yes, right. Guards, take them away.
[Greek tent]
(The Doctor is hard at work at a make-shift desk in the Greek camp when Odysseus comes looking for him.)
ODYSSEUS: Well, Doctor, you have one day left. What progress are you making?
DOCTOR: Considerable. Here. Now, you just take that for a moment. Now, pay attention please.
(With the air of a magician, the Doctor folds a piece of parchment into a paper aeroplane)
ODYSSEUS: What is it?
DOCTOR: Well, what does it look like? A flying machine.
ODYSSEUS: Looks like a parchment dart to me. My boy makes these to annoy his tutors.
DOCTOR: Excellent! Since you're so familiar with this project, then it's so much easier for me to talk to you. Come along. Come along.
ODYSSEUS: Huh!
DOCTOR: Now, of course you realise that we can build a much larger one, capable of carrying a man.
ODYSSEUS: I suppose so. What good would that be?
DOCTOR: Oh, think, my dear Odysseus. A whole fleet of them carrying a company of soldiers over the walls and into Troy.
ODYSSEUS: How would we get them into the air?
DOCTOR: Catapults!
ODYSSEUS: Catapults? That sounds like a vulgar oath to me! I must try it on Agamemnon. Catapults!
DOCTOR: Nonsense! The catapult is, well, you could make one for yourself out of strips of ox hide, and secure both ends, and then stretch it out like a bow-string.
ODYSSEUS: I see.
DOCTOR: Then you pour water over it, let it dry in the sun, and what happens then?
ODYSSEUS: It begins to smell.
DOCTOR: Never mind that. It shrinks. Now, allow me to demonstrate. You place the flying machine thus, as you would an arrow in a bow, and let it go.
ODYSSEUS: What happens?
DOCTOR: The machine flies in the air with a soldier clinging to its back.
ODYSSEUS: Yes, well, here's one soldier who's doing nothing of the sort.
DOCTOR: Agamemnon, then.
ODYSSEUS: That might be quite an idea.
DOCTOR: Thank you. I thought you'd like it.
ODYSSEUS: Agamemnon wouldn't do it, though.
DOCTOR: Oh? Why not?
ODYSSEUS: He'd object most strongly. We'll have to think of someone else.
DOCTOR: Well, anyone could do it, for that matter. I mean, even a child could operate it.
ODYSSEUS: I'm very glad to hear you say that, Doctor, because I intend to build this flying machine.
DOCTOR: Excellent, excellent!
ODYSSEUS: And you shall have the honour of being the first man to fly!
[Trojan dungeon]
VICKI: If you hadn't called me Vicki, we wouldn't be here now.
STEVEN: Look, you called me by my name first.
VICKI: Only because I was surprised to see you. I can't think why you disguised yourself as a Greek, anyway.
STEVEN: I disguised myself so that I could rescue you.
VICKI: You succeeded beautifully. Thanks, Diomede.
STEVEN: Oh, look, be fair. How was I to know that you'd manage to get round King Priam?
VICKI: You might have guessed. I know how to take care of myself. Why couldn't you have disguised yourself as a Trojan? It would have been far more sensible.
STEVEN: Because I haven't got a Trojan uniform. If you're so clever at looking after yourself, you'd better start thinking of a way to get out of here, and fast.
VICK: What do you mean, fast?
STEVEN: Yesterday, the Doctor was given two days to capture Troy, and if I know him, he'll probably succeed.
VICKI: Well, that's all right then. We shall be rescued.
STEVEN: Rescued? You'll be lucky! Look, may I point out that in the one day that the Doctor now has left, you have to think of a way of saving the city and defeating the Greeks.
VICKI: Oh. I hadn't thought of it like that.
STEVEN: Well, you'd better start, because I don't think Cassandra's going to wait until the city falls before she gets rid of you.
VICKI: Paris wouldn't let her do that, neither would Troilus.
STEVEN: Troilus?
VICKI: Paris's younger brother. He likes me. I like him.
STEVEN: I don't think that's going to matter much when the city starts to burn. Now, come on, start thinking. It's you against the Doctor now.
VICKI: Oh Steven, what can we do to stop him? Do you know what he was planning?
STEVEN: Oh, I've no idea. I suggested the wooden horse. He said that was something Homer made up.
VICKI: What was that?
STEVEN: Some fool throwing stones at us. Probably stirred up by Cassandra.
VICKI: Except for her, they were all quite friendly to me.
STEVEN: Vicki! It's the Cyclops!
VICKI: What?
STEVEN: The servant of Odysseus. Look, Cyclops, can you understand me? Tell them. Tell them that I've found our other friend. Yes? That they mustn't attack Troy. That's it, the city. They mustn't attack Troy until the day after tomorrow. Otherwise, we'll both be killed, this girl and I. You understand?
VICKI: Glad he thinks that's funny.
STEVEN: Look. Tell, tell the old man.
TROILUS [OC]: Cressida, what's going on?
VICKI: Oh, Troilus!
TROILUS: What were you doing?
VICKI: Ah, nothing. Just watching Diomede examining those things in there.
TROILUS: What are you doing up there?
STEVEN: Just admiring the view. It's a very handsome square out here.
TROILUS: Perhaps, but you're supposed to sit in your cell and be quiet. You weren't talking to him, were you? You're not supposed to.
VICKI: Oh, no. I was just watching.
TROILUS: I brought you some food.
VICKI: Oh, thank you. I though I'd been forgotten. You can tell me what's going on while I eat.
TROILUS: I'm not allowed to talk to you.
VICKI: Why not?
TROILUS: I'm on duty.
VICKI: Well, can't you even
TROILUS: I'm sorry, Cressida, but I must obey orders.
(Vicki sits down sullenly and begins eating.)
VICKI: Mmm. This is very good. Would you like some? Go on. Try some.
TROILUS: Well, actually, I have already eaten.
[Greek tent]
(Back in his tent, Odysseus watches as the Doctor paces back and forth.)
ODYSSEUS: Will you keep still?
DOCTOR: I'm thinking.
ODYSSEUS: Well, think sitting down. Now you said your plans were ready. I've got half a company of men standing by to make this machine of yours.
DOCTOR: Dismiss them then.
ODYSSEUS: What? You have very little time left, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, I'm quite well aware of that, but I'm afraid this machine isn't going to work.
ODYSSEUS: You mean you're too frightened to fly it yourself.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. It isn't that. Not at all. I've made a mistake in my calculations.
ODYSSEUS: A mistake?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes. I'm afraid we must face up to it, Odysseus, man was never meant to fly.
ODYSSEUS: Wasn't he now? Well, that seems to me a great shame. Now if your machine won't work, Doctor, I propose to fly you without it.
DOCTOR: Oh? What do you mean?
ODYSSEUS: Simply this. That my catapult is ready and it seems a great pity to waste it. Now you have failed me, therefore you are expendable. I propose to fire you over the walls of Troy.
DOCTOR: Ah, but I have another idea. And a much better one.
ODYSSEUS: It had better be. Well?
DOCTOR: Have you ever thought of a horse?
ODYSSEUS: Is that supposed to be funny?
DOCTOR: It should be a huge horse, about forty feet high.
ODYSSEUS: What good would that be?
DOCTOR: We build it hollow, and we fill it with soldiers and leave it on the sandy plain for the Trojans to capture it.
ODYSSEUS: And it's just possible that the Trojans will come out and take the horse back into the city.
DOCTOR: And the Greeks pretend to sail away.
ODYSSEUS: Yes. Yes, that's quite an idea, Doctor.
[Trojan dungeon]
TROILUS: No, of course not. I It was just that Cassandra went on so about your being a witch!
VICKI: And you thought I might put a spell on you?
TROILUS: Well, no. Of course not. I'd like to see you try it. You're not a witch, are you?
VICKI: Of course not. Do I look like one?
TROILUS: Well, no, but then, I've never met one. Look here, I shouldn't be talking to you like this. And what are you laughing at?
VICKI: Well, you're not in the war, are you? You're far too young.
TROILUS: I'm seventeen next birthday!
VICKI: That's hardly any older than me. You shouldn't be killing people at your age.
TROILUS: Well, between you and me, I don't honestly enjoy killing at all. But I love adventure.
VICKI: Yes. I know what you mean.
[Agamemnon's tent]
(Odysseus and the Doctor visit Agamemnon with their plan to seize Troy.)
AGAMEMNON: Well? What is this idea of yours?
DOCTOR: Well, it's all perfectly simple.
ODYSSEUS: Nonsense! Show them the plans, Doctor. It's quite revolutionary. There, what do you make of that?
MENELAUS: Eh. Well, it's a horse. Isn't it?
ODYSSEUS: Well done, Menelaus. But what sort of horse, that's the point.
MENELAUS: Ah. Er. Well, a big horse.
ODYSSEUS: Exactly. A very big horse.
AGAMEMNON: Is this some sort of joke?
ODYSSEUS: A horse at least forty feet high.
MENELAUS: Oh, but horses don't grow as big as that. Do they? I mean, even the Great Horse of Asia that the Trojans worship.
ODYSSEUS: Now you're beginning to get to the point. Horses don't grow that high.
MENELAUS: No.
ODYSSEUS: The Great Horse of Asia does not exist, therefore we are going to build one for the Trojans as a sort of present.
AGAMEMNON: Go on.
DOCTOR: We build it of wood, and we build it hollow. Then we fill it with a picked team of soldiers.
MENELAUS: Well, then what do we do?
DOCTOR: You take to the ships and sail away, to make the Trojans think you've all gone.
MENELAUS: Excellent. Now that is a good idea.
DOCTOR: You all come back again, of course.
MENELAUS: Why is there always a catch in it?
DOCTOR: None of this must happen before nightfall.
ODYSSEUS: Now Achilles will take his Myrmidons and hide out upon the plain.
AGAMEMNON: I thought you said the best warriors'd be in the horse?
ODYSSEUS: So they will be. I shall be there with my Ithacans.
AGAMEMNON: Eh?
ODYSSEUS: My Ithacans, and the Doctor, of course.
DOCTOR: That wasn't part of the plan.
ODYSSEUS: It is now. I've just thought of it. I'm standing no more nonsense from you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: That will not be necessary. I shall only get in the way.
ODYSSEUS: You'd better not do that. Now the rest is up to those Trojans. They see that we have gone, they see their Great Horse upon the plain, which has descended from heaven to drive us away.
DOCTOR: Then they drag the horse into the city.
AGAMEMNON: Are you sure? Suppose they set fire to it?
DOCTOR: Oh, well, that is a calculated risk. But somehow I don't believe they'll want to destroy one of their own gods.
MENELAUS: Yes, but once they have the horse inside, won't they close the gates?
ODYSSEUS: Of course they will. But during the night, we shall leave the horse, open up the gates to let you all in again. What more do you want?
MENELAUS: A drink.
[Trojan dungeon]
VICKI: There, I've finished. That was lovely.
TROILUS: Then I'd better go. I've stayed here far too long as it is already.
VICKI: Oh. But aren't you going to take some food to Diomede?
TROILUS: Why?
VICKI: Well, perhaps he's hungry too.
TROILUS: But he's a Greek. He deserves to be hungry.
VICKI: Well, perhaps so, but you can't let him starve.
TROILUS: He won't starve. The guards will throw him a scrap or two later on.
VICKI: Well, that's a very nice attitude, I must say.
TROILUS: Look here, is this Diomede a particular friend of yours or something?
VICKI: A very good friend, yes.
TROILUS: Well I don't see how you can be friends with a Greek.
VICKI: Oh, look, Troilus. When you come from the future you make friends with a lot of people, and he's one of them.
TROILUS: I see. But he's not in any way special?
VICKI: No. Why do you keep on?
TROILUS: Well, because that's what I was. I mean, that's what the others were worried about.
VICKI: Oh, yes, well, all right, you can tell them to stop worrying and let us out.
TROILUS: Yes, yes I will. But I don't suppose anyone will take any notice.
VICKI: Well, do your best anyway.
TROILUS: Naturally. I'll let you know what happens. Perhaps I can come back later on. If there's any news, that is.
VICKI: Well, you know where to find me, don't you? I mean I don't expect I shall be going out or anything.
TROILUS: I suppose not. Well, goodbye for the present then, Cressida.
VICKI: Goodbye, Troilus.
STEVEN: You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
VICKI: I don't see why. At least I've done something towards getting us out of here, which is more than you have.
STEVEN: And what chance have I had?
VICKI: Anyway, I though he was rather nice.
STEVEN: Oh, you made that painfully obvious. And I think you might at least have had the decency to have saved me some food.
(Vicki takes some food from her pocket and hands it over.)
STEVEN: Oh, thanks.
VICKI: The guards are sending you some scraps later. Troilus said so.
STEVEN: Hmm. Troilus.
VICKI: You know, Steven, I think I could get to be quite happy here in time.
STEVEN: I hate to remind you, but time is the one thing we just haven't got.
VICKI: But you said you'd sent a message to the Doctor.
STEVEN: Yeah, well, I think I have. It's hard to tell with the Cyclops. In any case, your new boyfriend came in before I'd finished telling him everything.
VICKI: Well, let's hope he did understand.
STEVEN: Yeah, and let's hope he got out of Troy safely. Otherwise we're in trouble.
[Outside Troy]
(Outside the city, Paris and his soldiers see Cyclops trying to leave.)
GUARD: Halt! Halt or I shoot!
PARIS: Identify yourself. Speak!
(Cyclops cannot answer)
PARIS: Who are you?
(One of the soldiers throws his spear and Cyclops falls to the ground.)
PARIS: Oh, confound you. Why did you have to do that? The poor little fellow probably never meant any harm. Well, now we shall never know who he was.
[Plain outside Troy]
ODYSSEUS: Well, Doctor, that's a warhorse and a half for you. That's something like a secret weapon. Better than half a dozen of your crack-brained flying machines.
DOCTOR: Yes, I only wish I shared your confidence.
ODYSSEUS: Oh, what's the matter with you? Have you no faith in your own invention?
DOCTOR: No, no, Odysseus. It isn't that. But, I just didn't like the look of those fetlocks. They've no safety margin at all.
ODYSSEUS: Well, they haven't got to last forever. After all, we're not building one of the wonders of the world, are we? As long as that horse gets us into Troy it can collapse into a mare's nest for all I care.
DOCTOR: Ah, suppose it collapses whilst we're all in it?
ODYSSEUS: Then we shall all look very foolish indeed.
DOCTOR: Yes, and I've no wish to be made a laughing stock.
ODYSSEUS: Not another word, Doctor. To coin a phrase, you are coming for a ride.
[Trojan dungeon]
(In the cells, a guard brings a plate of scraps for Steven. As the guard turns to leave, Steven jumps him and knocks him to the ground. At the door, Steven finds himself facing four spears. Helplessly he watches as the fallen man gets up and leaves the cells, slamming the door behind him.)
VICKI: I told you strong-arm tactics wouldn't work.
[Inside the Wooden Horse]
(The Wooden Horse is now on the plain, with the Doctor, Odysseus and a number of Ithacan soldiers inside. The Doctor sits by the open hatch, peering out into the darkness.)
DOCTOR: Odysseus. Come here, quickly.
ODYSSEUS: What is it now, Doctor? Upon my soul, you're making me as nervous as a Bacchante at her first orgy. Why don't you try and get some sleep?
DOCTOR: I've never felt less like sleep in my life. I thought I saw some movement down there.
ODYSSEUS: I hope you did. That's the whole point of the operation, is it not? Pretty lot of fools we'd look if we come here and nobody takes a damned bit of notice of us.
DOCTOR: I think I ought to warn you that I've given second thoughts to the whole of this scheme, and I think it better we turn round and go back before it's too late. Get out of my way.
ODYSSEUS: Now look, Doctor, will you be still? I suggest, Doctor, that if you cannot sleep, you start counting Trojans. Here they come now.
[Plain outside Troy]
(Across the plain, a column of Trojan soldiers carrying torches advances towards the Wooden Horse.
[Trojan dungeon]
(The following morning, Troilus rushes to wake Vicki in the cells.)
TROILUS: Cressida! Cressida, wake up. You must come quickly.
VICKI: What's the matter?
TROILUS: The Greeks have gone.
VICKI: What do you mean?
TROILUS: Well, the whole fleet has sailed, and now there's not one to be seen. They've all gone home. The war's over!
VICKI: Are you sure they've all really gone?
TROILUS: Well, Paris has gone out now to make sure, but what else can it mean? Well, come and see for yourself.
VICKI: Are you releasing me?
TROILUS: Well, naturally. Father's terribly pleased with you.
VICKI: Oh, it was nothing to do with me.
TROILUS: Well, he thinks it was, and that's the main thing. He said that you've brought us luck as he always said you would. Cassandra's furious about it. She hates you more than ever now.
VICKI: Oh dear.
TROILUS: Oh, that doesn't matter. She's completely discredited. If even the end of the war can't cheer her up, she's not worth bothering about. Well, come on. Father wants to thank you himself.
VICKI: Yes. Oh, what about Diomede?
TROILUS: Who?
VICKI: Diomede.
TROILUS: Yes. What about Diomede? Do you think that you can fight the whole of Troy on your own?
STEVEN: I don't want to fight anybody.
TROILUS: Well, that's just as well. You're the last of the Greeks now. Your friends have all sailed home without you. Well, come on.
(Troilus leads Vicki from the cells, leaving Steven alone.)
[Inside the Wooden Horse]
ODYSSEUS: Absolute silence, everyone.
DOCTOR: Well, but I, I
ODYSSEUS: That includes you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh.
(The Horse jolts violently as the Trojans begin to haul it towards the city.)
ODYSSEUS: Well, this time Troy will be destroyed.
[Priam's palace]
(Troilus escorts Vicki to see King Priam.)
PRIAM: Come on in, Cressida. Come in, both of you. Has Troilus told you the news?
VICKI: Yes, it's marvellous, isn't it? I'm so pleased.
PRIAM: Pleased? I should just say you are. You did it.
VICKI: I
PRIAM: Oh, yes you did. I don't know how, but that's your own business, I suppose. Now, why on earth couldn't you tell us this was going to happen? You would have saved yourself all those hours in the cells, and us a great deal of worry.
CASSANDRA: She didn't tell you because it's some form of treachery. Don't trust her, father.
PRIAM: Oh, stuff and nonsense. Oh, go and feed the sacred serpents or something. If you can't be pleasant at a time like this, Cassandra, I don't want to see you. Oh, Paris! Have the Greeks really gone?
PARIS: Every last one of them, or so it seems.
PRIAM: There you are, Cassandra. I told you so. Oh, do for goodness sake, smile.
PARIS: But, more important, I think I've just found the Great Horse of Asia.
PRIAM: You've done what?
PARIS: Something uncommonly like it, anyway.
PRIAM: What on earth are you talking about?
PARIS: The Great Horse of Asia. Standing all by itself in the middle of the plain, about forty foot high and made of wood.
PRIAM: Whereabouts in the middle of the plain?
PARIS: Near the Grecian line. Look. You can just see it from here.
PRIAM: Great heavens, I do believe you're right. It is the Great Horse of Asia.
CASSANDRA: It's an omen. An omen of disaster.
VICKI: (sotto) It is the Trojan Horse. But I thought you
TROILUS: What was that?
CASSANDRA: Yes, ask her! Go on, ask her! She knows what it is. It's our doom! It's the death of Troy, brought upon us by that cursed witch!
PARIS: Now understand me, Cassandra. I will not have one word said against that horse.
TROILUS: And neither will I against Cressida.
CASSANDRA: Will you not? Then woe to the House of Priam. Woe to the Trojans.
PARIS: I'm afraid you're a bit late to say 'whoa' to the horse. I've just given instructions to have it brought into the city.
Episode Four - Horse of Destruction
[Priam's palace]
CASSANDRA: Of all the idiocy, to have it brought into the city.
PARIS: Why? That horse is in the image of one of our gods.
CASSANDRA: It's a trick. My dreams have always been right and they foretell disaster.
PARIS: Now were they right about that little temple? That has brought us nothing but good luck.
CASSANDRA: Good luck you call it. The whole family besotted by that sorceress.
PRIAM: Oh, I do wish you'd stop calling Cressida that. And I would call it luck to have the entire Greek army removed from our shores. Peace at last. Though the arrival of the horse is a little puzzling.
PARIS: Well, Cressida probably arranged it, and the very sight of it just, just frightened the Greeks away.
TROILUS: Where is Cressida?
PARIS: Oh, she's probably down in the square watching them bring in the horse.
TROILUS: Oh, then I'd better go look for her. I don't like her to go wandering round the city on her own.
PRIAM: No, bring her back up here again. She'll get a better view.
CASSANDRA: Katarina, go and look for the sorceress. I don't trust my lovesick brother.
KATARINA: But, great priestess, the auguries said that
CASSANDRA: Do you dare to question me?
KATARINA: No.
CASSANDRA: Very well, then. Go and watch for that girl.
[Dungeons]
(Vicki has made her way to the cells to release Steven.)
STEVEN: What's going on up there?
VICKI: They're just bringing the horse into the city. Follow me.
[Inside the Wooden Horse]
DOCTOR: I'm still very worried about those fetlocks.
ODYSSEUS: Be happy that's all you have to worry about. Of all the undignified ways of entering a city this takes the fried phoenix.
DOCTOR: If only you would have allowed me another day to fit shock absorbers. Oh, I say! Oh!
ODYSSEUS: Zeus be praised. We've arrived.
DOCTOR: Oh! Well now, what is it you propose to do?
ODYSSEUS: We wait, Doctor, without movement and in absolute silence.
[Palace Balcony]
PARIS: There, father, the horse is safely installed. And you may notice, my sister, that nothing disastrous, has occurred.
CASSANDRA: Wait and see. There's time yet and mark my words that horse will be the doom of Troy.
PRIAM: It's a little more rough hewn than I had expected. Well, since it's here we'd better take a closer look.
[Troy city square]
(In the square, Vicki and Steven are moving through the crowds towards the horse.)
STEVEN: That's some horse.
VICKI: If you can call it that.
STEVEN: The Doctor said.
VICKI: It'd be pretty silly if they caught you again.
STEVEN: And you.
VICKI: What do you mean?
STEVEN: Well, if they find us together they'll know you let me out.
VICKI: They think I invoked that thing. I'm all right.
STEVEN: Yes, only so long as they think it's a gift from the gods. They'll know very differently once the Doctor and company come out of it.
VICKI: Do you think he's in it?
STEVEN: Well, it's likely isn't it? I mean, he'll be worried about getting back to the Tardis.
VICKI: He must be able to see he's got nothing to worry about. That thing is so rickety it must be full of peep holes.
STEVEN: All right, you do better in the time they had. Now I wonder why he didn't delay like we asked?
VICKI: He must have a plan of escape to rescue us. Cyclops must have told him where we were.
STEVEN: If Cyclops got through.
VICKI: Look out.
(Vicki has spotted Katarina moving through the crowds.)
VICKI: That is one of Cassandra's girls.
STEVEN: What?
VICKI: That girl. I've seen her with Cassandra. She's a handmaid at the Temple or something.
STEVEN: Then she must be looking for you. Look, you go back. I'll find somewhere to hide around here.
VICKI: Look, they trust me, I'd
STEVEN: You'd better go. In any case, Troilus'll die of jealousy if he knows you're with me.
VICKI: And what is that supposed to mean?
STEVEN: Oh, come off it, Vicki. The way you two were carrying on back there in the
VICKI: Troilus has been very kind to me and I'm very fond of him and if all you can do is make fun
STEVEN: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am sorry. Okay, but look. If you really are that fond of him you'd better tell him to get out of the city.
VICKI: Why? You mean when they come out of that thing they. Steven!
STEVEN: It's possible, isn't it? Tell him to get out of Troy, just to be on the safe side.
(Elsewhere in the square, Priam, Paris and Cassandra are making their way through the crowds towards the horse when Troilus runs up to them.)
TROILUS: Diomede. He's gone.
PARIS: He's gone?
TROILUS: His cell is empty. The guards were locked in by a trick, so they say.
CASSANDRA: That Cressida. Troy's doom is nigh!
TROILUS: How could it be? She's one girl.
CASSANDRA: A girl you call her, you love-sick fool, but I know she's a witch and must be burnt along with that horse out there. See. There she stands.
PARIS: Now did you ever see someone so unlike a witch?
PRIAM: Now, now quiet all of you. Come here, my child. Where have you been? We've been worried about you.
VICKI: I've just been out.
PRIAM: Yes, but where?
TROILUS: Look, you didn't free Diomede, did you?
VICKI: Diomede?
PRIAM: Yes, your friend, the Greek prisoner. He has escaped. Did you set him free?
PARIS: Oh, that's nonsense. I mean how could she have?
CASSANDRA: By sorcery.
VICKI: I am not a sorceress. Really, I'm not.
PRIAM: Yes, I believe you, my child, but you must forgive us if we are naturally suspicious. This has been a long and difficult war, and peace will take a little bit of getting used to.
CASSANDRA: My handmaiden Katarina will stay with her.
PRIAM: Very well. Come, my children, our people have gone to the square of oratory, we must go and join them there and I must speak. And we must also make plans for the celebration. Thank you, my dear. See you later.
VICKI: Thank you. Thank you for being so kind to me.
PRIAM: My dear child, this city owes it's salvation to you.
(Priam and the others leave Vicki alone with Katarina.)
VICKI: Oh, no. Let it not happen.
KATARINA: Did you want something?
VICKI: No, thank you.
[Inside the Wooden Horse]
DOCTOR: How you can sit there so peacefully defeats me. Have you no feelings, no emotions?
ODYSSEUS: I was thinking, Doctor, that with any luck either Agamemnon or Achilles will not come through.
DOCTOR: You mean they'll desert us?
ODYSSEUS: No, die. Just a hope. One less finger in the pie. A greater share of the booty for me.
DOCTOR: That is a most immoral way of looking at life.
ODYSSEUS: Nonsense. It's the reason that I've been here for ten long years fighting all the time.
DOCTOR: Yes, well I must get out of here at once.
ODYSSEUS: You can't.
DOCTOR: I've only got to pull that lever and I can get back down into the square.
ODYSSEUS: Yes, yes, but as I happen to be sitting on the rope you'll fall forty feet and break your neck.
DOCTOR: I will not be party to your schemes. You forced me to invent this contraption.
ODYSSEUS: I'm very glad I did, Doctor. Up to now it's been very satisfactory.
DOCTOR: You had no right to bring me here at all. I'm utterly useless to you. You must let me out of here. You're selfish, greedy, corrupt, cheap, horrible. Your one thought is for yourself and what you can get out of it.
ODYSSEUS: Be quiet, old man.
DOCTOR: I will not be quiet. You may stay here if you wish to have your insignificant win, your victory or whatever you call it, but you must let me out of here.
ODYSSEUS: One more word out of you and I shall kill you! You would be my first victim in Troy.
(The Doctor moves away from the hatch)
ODYSSEUS: That's better. About now our ships should be returning, as you planned.
[Priam's palace]
(Inside the palace, Troilus visits Vicki.)
TROILUS: Cressida.
VICKI: Oh, I'm so glad you've come.
TROILUS: I had to see you.
VICKI: Troilus, dear Troilus, will you do something for me?
TROILUS: Anything.
VICKI: Leave the city.
TROILUS: Why?
VICKI: It's Diomede.
TROILUS: Diomede?
VICKI: I'm sure he's out on the plain. You've got to go and look for him and find him. If you bring him back you'll prove yourself the warrior you really are. He'll be your prisoner then as well as Paris'.
TROILUS: But he may have been rescued by the Greeks by now.
VICKI: No, no, no. Paris said they'd all gone away and that was before he even escaped.
TROILUS: Why this concern for Diomede? Is he? Do you? I mean, are you in love with him?
VICKI: No, he's just a friend.
TROILUS: Then if he's your friend, why do you want him captured? To be a prisoner of war's considered very bad form.
VICKI: But. Oh, why won't you see? Go out and search for him on the plain.
TROILUS: Cressida, I said I'd do anything for you, and a Trojan stands by his word, but please, why do you want me to leave the city and go and search for a highly skilled Greek warrior.
VICKI: He isn't armed. I wouldn't send you out there if I thought anything could happen to you. I just want you to. I just want you to catch your own prisoner.
TROILUS: Did you mean that? About not wanting me hurt?
VICKI: Of course I did. I wouldn't ask you to do it otherwise.
TROILUS: Oh, Cressida.
VICKI: You haven't got time. You've got to go now.
TROILUS: Don't worry. Everything's going to be all right.
[Troy city square]
(Night has fallen and the city of Troy is quiet. In the main square, a rope descends from the belly of the immense wooden horse. One by one, the Greek soldiers drop to the ground. Eventually the Doctor climbs awkwardly down the rope, followed by Odysseus.)
ODYSSEUS: This plan of yours, Doctor, is going to be a great success. Stay close to me.
[Outside Troy]
(Outside the city walls, Troilus is searching for Steven.)
TROILUS: Diomede!
(A figure emerges from behind some nearby rocks)
TROILUS: Diomede, where are you!
ACHILLES: What ails you, petty princeling? Lost some plaything? The one you call for is long dead.
TROILUS: You're a Greek. I thought you'd sailed away. Who are you?
ACHILLES: You should not ask. My name is Achilles.
TROILUS: My brother's murderer.
ACHILLES: So, Prince Troilus, is it? Well, I killed your brother fairly. Fought him man to man. Alas, I cannot do the same for you. This will be the murder of a boy.
TROILUS: Has Cressida played me false? Very well. I'll fight my brother's murderer for I only live to kill Diomede.
ACHILLES: Who is already dead. So follow him, Trojan!
(Troilus and Achilles circle each other, battling furiously. The Greek is surprised by Troilus' skill with a sword. He's beginning to tire when he slips on the rocky ground and falls. Troilus is quick to move in for the kill.)
TROILUS: So died my brother. The wheel has spun full circle.
(But as Troilus strikes the death blow, Achilles brings up his own sword and stabs at Troilus. Troilus collapses from his wound.)
TROILUS: Diomede, I lived to call down wrath for love of Cressida.
[Troy city square]
(Two Greek soldiers struggle to unbolt the main gates that seal the city of Troy. As the gates open, hoards of Greek troops surge through the ever-widening gap.)
[Priam's palace]
(In the palace, Priam listens to the carnage outside with growing alarm.)
PRIAM: What noise was that? What are you doing?
PARIS: It's the Greeks! They were inside the horse and our gates are open to the enemy.
CASSANDRA: And none of you would listen to me!
(Odysseus bursts into the room.)
ODYSSEUS: Three hornets in their nest. Kill them!
(The soldiers run after Priam and his children.
[Outside the Tardis]
(The Doctor has made his way to the Tardis)
VICKI: Doctor! Oh, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh, my dear child! Oh, how lovely to see you. Where have you been all this time? And where's Steven?
VICKI: Doctor, he's over there, but I've got to talk to you.
DOCTOR: Oh, now one thing at a time, child. Where's the young man?
VICKI: Katarina. Katarina, this is the Doctor. Now, go and find the man you call Diomede. He's hiding amongst those pillars over there.
KATARINA: You're from the other place?
DOCTOR: But who is this child. Now pull yourself together. We've got to go.
VICKI: Katarina, go and find Diomede. He will be there. Bring him to my temple, quickly.
DOCTOR: We must all go and find him. Come along.
VICKI: No, Doctor. Into the Tardis, quickly.
DOCTOR: Listen, my dear child, the boy, the boy.
VICKI: Open the door and listen to me, please.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, but just be patient will you.
VICKI: Steven is safe. Katarina will bring him. Come on, I've got to talk to you.
[Troy city square]
KATARINA: Diomede, Cressida has sent me.
STEVEN: Who are you?
KATARINA: I've come to take you to your temple. Oh, come, quickly.
STEVEN: I can't.
KATARINA: Lean on me.
(Katarina helps the weakened Steven back towards the Tardis.)
[Priam's palace]
(Inside the palace, Priam and Paris lie dead. Odysseus has Cassandra by the shoulders and shakes her violently.)
ODYSSEUS: Stop struggling, woman. You are reserved for Agamemnon and he's welcome to you.
CASSANDRA: Tricksters! You Greeks will never learn to fight honestly!
ODYSSEUS: But we win!
CASSANDRA: Not for long. The day will come when you will perish as you made us do.
ODYSSEUS: Take her away. The high-born are reserved for Agamemnon. I can't wait to see him enjoy a talk with this one.
CASSANDRA: Ten long years we fought you, Odysseus, and ten long years it'll be before you see your home again.
ODYSSEUS: To Agamemnon with her. To his ship. A personal present from me.
CASSANDRA: Take your hands off me! Take your hands off me!
[Outside the Tardis]
(The Doctor helps Katarina get Steven to the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: You're sure it's just the shoulder? Right. Well, steady, steady. Hold tight. Hold on. Yes, careful. Just a minute. Careful, careful, Vicki. Oh, dear, dear. This business. There we are. Now, come on bring him in. Bring him in there. Gently and carefully. That's it. That's it. Put him on the couch.
ODYSSEUS: Stand still, old man, or you die. I claim your machine as part of my share.
DOCTOR: Share of what?
ODYSSEUS: The spoils of war!
DOCTOR: Now you stand back. I've gone far enough with you, my Lord Odysseus. You go adventuring on your own. Be off with you.
ODYSSEUS: Seize it! Come on, move! Quickly! A cart!
(The Tardis dematerialises)
ODYSSEUS: Doctor!
(Odysseus and his soldiers watch in awe as the Tardis dematerialises.)
ODYSSEUS: Zeus! I wonder, were you really Zeus after all?
[Outside Troy]
TROILUS: Cressida, Cressida, could you have betrayed us? Cressida!
(The distraught Troilus watches from the plain as the city burns.)
VICKI: I came to find you.
TROILUS: Cressida, what are you doing here? Where's Diomede?
VICKI: He's gone with another friend that you never met.
TROILUS: Back to Greece.
VICKI: No, to where I came from. You see, he wasn't really a Greek. He. Oh, Troilus you're hurt!
TROILUS: Just a bit.
VICKI: Oh, let me look.
TROILUS: No, I'll be all right. Look, Cressida, I don't understand.
VICKI: I, I don't suppose you ever will. That doesn't matter so long as you trust me.
TROILUS: Trust you? After all
VICKI: I didn't betray you. That's why I stayed behind. I wanted you to know that I didn't. The main thing is I belong here now with you. If you'll have me.
TROILUS: Cressida, look what's happened.
VICKI: There's only us now.
TROILUS: What do you mean?
VICKI: I'll explain someday. I'm sorry.
TROILUS: But, but there's nowhere to go.
VICKI: We'll find somewhere.
TROILUS: Oh, Cressida. Cressida, look!
VICKI: Be careful. They may be Greeks.
TROILUS: It's my cousin!
VICKI: Cousin?
TROILUS: Yes, Aeneas. Oh, if only he'd come sooner.
VICKI: That's it.
TROILUS: What?
VICKI: He'll help us.
TROILUS: But, there's, there's nothing left.
VICKI: Yes, there is. There's us. We can start again. With your cousin's help we can, we can build another Troy.
[Tardis]
(Inside the Tardis, Steven's condition worsening. The Doctor mops his brow as Katarina stands by, watching helplessly.)
DOCTOR: That's not good. That's not good at all. We must get help.
KATARINA: What help is there in limbo?
DOCTOR: What's that, my dear?
STEVEN: Vicki
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no. Keep calm, keep calm.
STEVEN: Is she all right?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes. She's all right. Yes, yes.
STEVEN: What's she doing over there?
DOCTOR: No, no, no. That's not Vicki. That's not Vicki. Now keep calm.
STEVEN: Not Vicki?
DOCTOR: Be quiet!
STEVEN: Where is she? The Trojans will kill her. You came too soon.
DOCTOR: She's all right. She's all right. She wanted to stay.
STEVEN: The Greeks. The Greeks, the Trojans.
DOCTOR: Keep still.
STEVEN: Vicki.
DOCTOR: She's all right. I know she is. She's gone to find Troilus and she'll be quite all right. This is just what she wanted. Now calm down. Yes, quiet, quiet.
STEVEN: Oh, Vicki. Vicki.
DOCTOR: Oh, you'll have to look after that young man. I think he has calmed down.
KATARINA: Strange god, you bring me peace.
DOCTOR: No, I don't know what Vicki has advised you, but
KATARINA: Oh, the Priestess Cressida told me all would be well and I knew it was to come.
DOCTOR: What was to come my dear?
KATARINA: That I was to die.
DOCTOR: My dear child, you're not dead. That's nonsense.
KATARINA: This is not Troy. This is not even the world. This is the journey through the beyond.
DOCTOR: Well, as you wish.
KATARINA: Thank you.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, as you wish, my child. Now, I want you to keep an eye on that young man. Will you?
KATARINA: Yes, great god.
DOCTOR: His name is Steven. And remember Katarina, you must call me Doctor.
KATARINA: Oh, as you wish Doc.
DOCTOR: I'm not a Doc. I am not a god. Oh, my dear Vicki, I hope you'll be all right. I shall miss you child. Oh, yes, now. Those drugs, those drugs. What am I going to do? I must stop somewhere. But, how? I've got to! Yes! I must! I must!
Next Episode - The Nightmare Begins
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