Very Strange Day by Mark Anthony Raines

     Very Strange Day by Mark Anthony Raines 

Comedy Friendly Zombie Ltd 

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PROLOGUE                                                                                                                                

Have you ever had a day  so strange that if you told anyone  there would say you were making it up.Well the following  is based on a very strange day I had in my home town of Holsworthy Devon                                                                                

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MORNING                                                                                                                             

Someone moves has moved in to the town of Holsworthy a new necropolis/Hamlet the local community busy body knows  nothing about them..Thieves steal a valuable antique from a local museum The famous St Peter's Chalice that said process of ability to combat The power of evil.The next day after the theft in the Museum and the  statue of St Peter in the town square has a mysterious riddle carved into it ,the writing appears to be a combination of old forgotten Devon dialect..Suddenly some Miners appear from up from the newly formed drill hole saying in very excited voices that their had  uncovered something while digging.Someone in town is a thief. Is entering the local council officers to find the last remaining evidence of the St .Peter's chalice. An energy based creature runs amok in the park wrecking the trees and freaking everyone out by wrecking machinery and gadgets.                                                                                            . Villains kidnap the mayor’s children. To try to get A ransom but discover to their got the wrong child so their bribe the wrong child with lots of sweets and leg it.A newly arrived diplomat has to take a dangerous journey to a hostile area of the mean back streets of Glebelands in Holsworthy to try and sort out the parked car situation as it may end up as World War Three.  All that and happen after Breakfast.                                        

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AFTERNOON                                                                                             

At the local  haunted house is said to have valuable treasure inside. But to paranormal investigation specialist Mark it's just yet another dead end.Merchants show up at the Wednesday market , claiming to sell the finest merchandise of matchstick models in the land but it turns out it's just some matchsticks glued together as some very poor attempt at modern art .A child wanders out deep into the woods and declares he just returned from being abducted by little green aliens and night is quickly approaching and he is shitting himself as their my return.Strange noises are coming from the forest late at night but nothing was found but a bunch of clothes on the floor must have been a bit of how's your father  .An innocent man who was being blamed for being just too weird to be living in Holsworthy was imprisoned or awaiting execution, pleads for help to his surrounding neighbours but fall on deaf ears.jealous rival threatens of my cat has is trying to stop her marriage to her beloved owner but it's too no avail as it's deemed by many as just normal in the modern era we live in today in blighty or England to any American reader of my bizarre day. .A hero has to come up with money for a relative’s operation raised by eating a meal in all the places where you can buy and eat such meal in Holsworthy which if you visit is quite a lot so be prepared to loosen that belt .On the opening day of a new business, nothing goes right due to the fact  the local paper boy forgot to put the flyers through the doors of every home so the poor business person was left alone with 1000 custard tarts just to themselves. Derby man whom I bump into in the town square recounts his adventures in the days of yore which I politely nod my head in the right places and make up an excuse I am late for work and walk very quickly away from as it was such a bore.                                                                         

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EVENING                                                                                                                                             

A girl is taking cupcakes to school but finds she’s one short due to the fact  it was taste tested by myself and it was yummy in my tummy .An local inventor builds a robot – but the robot starts doing things it’s not supposed to like speaking  in a Devon dialect saying things like alright my bird .Lovers are about to get married at St.Peters church – until a long-lost suitor suddenly shows up whom was presumed dead after  a unfortunate accident involving a plastic bag in some weird sex act ,things got a bit heated some fisty cuffs were involved but end ended well as the happy couple went off to their  honeymoon in Bournemouth .A hero trained in the martial arts of the local karate club Gesar Karate decides go on a quest for an ancient artifact as he nowt else to do but watch Naff television. .A suitor  called Brain gets humiliated in front of a crush ;a young woman in her twenties whom gives him a cold blue steel stare and some colourful language to go away. .A people in danger quickly accept a new leader called Simon  and occultists , who’s not what he appears aa he has the power to open spiritual gateways to the other realm.A Holsworthy College student has to pass a class – or risk dire punishment of detention for the rest of his life .Family disapproves of a young one’s career choice. of wanting  to be the person that puts the thingy on thinybob that helps cogs turn the machinery about round. A band of eccentric amateurs enter a local talent contest at the local comedy club calling themselves the Holsworthy mafia to no one amazement after watching this really bad act that it won't frist  prize a free match tickets to see the local team at their new home ground. Tourists get caught in a country’s revolution as Devon declares its independence from England due to fed up with the government of the day not getting us out of Europe. .A couple has to deal with sudden or pending arrival of a child from  hell who is just only just five years old but is a proper little monster. .A mythical artifact the cracked teapot must be protected – or the world will be plunged into disaster or so the curse on its side says .Big game is coming up with the odds against the hometown team as it's against the mighty Arsenal in a friendly  to help raise funds for their new ground. .A dishonest merchant seeks to eliminate his competition literally by just killing them all which is slightly over the top in the small market of only seven stalls.                                                          

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TEA                                                                .                                          

  A heroic resistance struggles against a seemingly invincible superpower of a villian being able to release incredible loud  foul smelly farts but only if eaten some beans and the villain was stopped when one of the hero's managed to put a cork up the villains bum.The preschool children build a snowman which suddenly comes to life and breaks in a song and dance and the children  have a great time joining in until the magical snowman melts in the heat of the day .A search starts for a friend who disappeared years ago called Harbottle whom was always there when I was lonely or felt unwell and we would play for ages ;Harbottle wishes he could  come back and play but I have grown up now and no longer need my imaginary friend. The local mafia power is constructing a superweapon of which the like the world has never seen it be ready in a few weeks which in Devon terms us a long way off .A new family has moved in across the street who seem very   weird as never come out during the day and seem very pale in colour and don't like the smell of garlic.Someone I know locally who’s lived a sheltered life is suddenly thrust out into the world due to government cutbacks and is not looking forward to it.Rory the snob publicly insults everyone who is not as financially well off.Two friends have not spoken in years and a third party intervenes as it silly falling  out over which goes on first the jam or cream on a scone.Nation of Sfath is under attack sends calls for help from neighboring peoples but only get sorry the person you are ringing is out please leave your name and number after the tone.A troupe of dancers suddenly starts performing inside a subway station to raise money for the local youth club in Holsworthy and only raise five pence.                                       

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NIGHT                                                                                                                                   .

Coconut cream pies become self-aware and attack humanity then awake  from my dream. .Someone gives birth.Someone dies such is life's circle. .A narrator talks about why a keepsake is so important. or as i the writer  tend to go off the plot as it just makes it more interesting to read well in his head at least.Pessimist exists amongst a group of optimists and that's Brexit  explained.as then .An optimist hangs out with many pessimists to finalise the deal of either a general election or people's vote or no Deal but still not decided  either way yet..A far-fetched conspiracy turns out to be true yes we did not land man on the moon as you see it was a dog cosmonaut that landed first but no country  wanted to admit that to us the general public. Soldiers find ways to keep busy in peacetime by peeling lots of potatoes.A centric artist moves to a small remote town of which  she believes Holsworthy to be that likes their solitude and is greatly pleased as it's very easy going and quiet ninety nine per cent of the time. intellectuals get targeted by those in power as the youngsters of the day are like walking zombies on their mobile phones.Patient under hypnosis recalls facts of an unsolved mystery of the famous  pasty recipe but when is awoken forgets it all.Famous historical figures switch places as it a play based on a very strange book by author Mark Anthony Raines called a very strange day                                     

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 END                                                             

And finally the  dated and I be glad  to be in in my bed to sleep  just hoping surely will not get  another very strange day? Is there a book  2 who cares*

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Table of contents. 

Prologue. 

Morning 

Afternoon 

Evening 

Night 

End 

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