Friday, 10 May 2019

Escape by Mark Antony Raines

An escape room, also known as an "escape game", is a mental and physical adventure based game in which players solve a series of puzzles and riddles using clues, hints, and strategy to complete the objectives at hand. Escape rooms may consist of a large, single room, or span multiple rooms. Players are given a set time limit to unveil the secret plot which is hidden within the rooms. Escape rooms are inspired by "escape-the-room"–style video games. This is also the likely source of their name.^[1] Games are set in a variety of fictional locations, such as prison cells, dungeons, and space stations, and usually the various puzzles and riddles themselves follow the theme of the room. Sometimes, the backstory of the room is told by Game Hosts, or alternatively, a television.I decided to take my friends in a different kind of of adventure for my 60 th ,I thought we try out there escape room in Holsworthy Devon Called St Peter's Fair,it is said to be one of the hardest in Britain. Me and my four bestest friends opened The door to The room inside was a sign saying enter at your own risk The management is not legally responsible any damage caused by this room.My self,Shane,Enid,Paula all were a little troubled by this but all did the bravado hearty I not in danger laugh.The room looked slightly musky and the first clue was the easiest..Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the St Peter's Fair room ,escape if you dare,the clues get harder as you keep going,if you wish knock on the wall three times as let you out there is no shame its is only a game?The second clue was solved by Enid,a woman only four foot 11 inches in height but if you asked her she would reply I am Five Foot 1Inch who did train to be a professional chef but hated dealing fish as wiggled too much.What Are the ingredients for a Woldorf Salad?Enid replies(Apple's,Celery,Mayonnaise,Walnuts ,Grapes)Enid was feeling pleased with herself until a big ,flimsy fish landed on her head and you sent screaming towards the wall and knocked three times on the wall,a door open then all were left was three.Paula was next,she was once a both and words nothing but black in her youth until she discovered the joys of being with boys and girls,nowt wrong with being bi.The next clue was on a skeleton ,ones seen in science classrooms across the country and this one is for Paula a easy going kind of girl What is the smallest bone in the human body(The smallest bone in the body is the stapes. It is one of three tiny bones in the ear that helps people hear. Few people know about the stapes and even fewer people have ever seen one. However, it is an important bone in the human body. If you have problems with your stapes, you have problems hearing.)she rattled off with ease suddenly a huge spider appears on her leg and she freaks out and runs to the door and screams(let me out)the door opens then their only two left.I and Shane decide to carry on to conquer this infernal room.We both walk towards the next clue a computer screen with the following question Name a one of the earliest computer s?I tell Shane to be careful .Shane taps in his reply First programmable computer. The Z1 was created by German Konrad Zuse in his parents' living room between 1936 and 1938. It is considered to be the first electro-mechanical binary programmable computer, and the first really functional modern computer.A brilliant light shines in his eyes and I tell him to go to the door and leave I will be ok.So finally I am the last person standing i go to.The next and final clue .I need to Lift a 56 lb weight with one arm to ring a bell that released a coil of paper in a tube but I have got to do it in one try.So I brace myself and commit to this physical feat.The coiled paper falls on the floor .I unroll it to read the last piece of this escape room puzzle but was stunned and horrified to read the following(Mark you thought this was your birthday treat but really we have all had enough of you and you behaviour towards us so we brought you here to seal your fate it s time to whirl the cogs and watch you die)I run straight to the exit door but it's locked right ,I hear the sound of wheels on a cig go around the walls slowly move towards me.I scream and shout for help to no avail.The walls keep creeping slowly towards me .I sit on the floor and give up hope and await my grim death of my bones being crushed and blood oozing out and nothing left but a cadaver on the floor completely unrecognizable.Then I hear great amount of laughter echoing around the room a voice boom s out(Tonight ladies and gentlemen Mark Antony Raines you have been Game for a laugh) Th.e End

Thursday, 9 May 2019

Freddie Starr R.I.P

Freddie Starr. ... .. It's very sad to hear about this legend of British comedy has passed on to do a gig for God above.Some years ago me and my step down Shane were able to obtain tickets to see Freddie Starr live in Torquay as both us were great frans and wanted to see him live.The coach trip was quite long but it was great to see the famous Torquay palm trees.We entered the theatre and managed to get front seats .The crowd were buoyant and the backing band opened the show.Then on came Freddie Starr and we were in stitches as it it was a mix of slap stick and manic comedy in act one.Then it was the break before act 2 time for a wee.A very long like of men queued up a flight of stairs,if wonder why not go during the act one person did and Freddie was merciless on him .Act 2 Time for Freddie Starr to get someone out of the audience we were secretly hoping we would get picked but no joy.People picked Freddie Starr did a human puppet show which was very painful funny and he thanked the people for coming in stage.Then we were treated by Freddie Starr and his backing band to a selection of songs as Freddie Starr was a great singer as well,Shane brought the music C.D .After the show I think he still has it in his vast collection.So this is the end of my personal but about Freddie Starr in my humble opinion a true comedy genius whom will be missed by many.Thanks for all the laughter and vivid memories.I glad to have seen him live . Mark Antony RainesSample Of Freddie Starr live.R.I.P a true comedy genius

One Day by Mark Anthony Raines

One Day by Mark Anthony Raines...

One day at a dog shop,
I met a man selling tights,
For money he wanted to swap,
But I really wanted some sprites.

"Got any sprites?" asked I.
"For that's how I'll spend my money."
"No sprites here!" said the guy.
He seemed to find it quite funny.

"We've got some lovely crisps,
I'll give you a very fine price."
"I'd rather have some wisps."
The man blinked rapidly thrice.

The man seemed exceptionally energetic,
And his manner was strangely amused.
He wasn't what I would call arithmetic,
Great disdain he noticeably oozed.

Like others, he thought I was odd,
Some say I'm a bit tiny.
Still he gave me a courteous nod,
As if he thought I was plenty piny.

So in search of my goal I departed,
But before the dog shop could I leave,
The man came running full-hearted,
"I can help you I believe."

"Tights, sprites, you shall find.
Crisps, wisps, you can get.
You must now open your mind,
And get down to Camden Market.

So to Camden Market I decided to go,
In search of the sprites I craved.
The winds it did eerily blow.
But I felt that the day could be saved.

There were stalls selling shirts,
Shoes in many shades.
There were even stalls selling desserts
People were scattered from many trades

I was greeted by a peculiar lady,
She seemed to be rather tiny
I couldn't help thinking she might be quite shady.
I wondered if she was at all piny.

Before I could open my mouth,
She shouted, "For you, I have some sprites!"
I headed towards her, to the south,
Past some crisps and tights.

"But how did you know?" I asked,
"Do you want them or not?" she did say.
Silently, the sprites she passed.
Then vanished before I could pay.

As I walked away I hard a crackle
Or was it, perhaps, a hushed cackle

One Day by Mark Antony Raines

One day at a dog shop,
I met a man selling tights,
For money he wanted to swap,
But I really wanted some sprites.

"Got any sprites?" asked I.
"For that's how I'll spend my money."
"No sprites here!" said the guy.
He seemed to find it quite funny.

"We've got some lovely crisps,
I'll give you a very fine price."
"I'd rather have some wisps."
The man blinked rapidly thrice.

The man seemed exceptionally energetic,
And his manner was strangely amused.
He wasn't what I would call arithmetic,
Great disdain he noticeably oozed.

Like others, he thought I was odd,
Some say I'm a bit tiny.
Still he gave me a courteous nod,
As if he thought I was plenty piny.

So in search of my goal I departed,
But before the dog shop could I leave,
The man came running full-hearted,
"I can help you I believe."

"Tights, sprites, you shall find.
Crisps, wisps, you can get.
You must now open your mind,
And get down to Camden Market.

So to Camden Market I decided to go,
In search of the sprites I craved.
The winds it did eerily blow.
But I felt that the day could be saved.

There were stalls selling shirts,
Shoes in many shades.
There were even stalls selling desserts
People were scattered from many trades

I was greeted by a peculiar lady,
She seemed to be rather tiny
I couldn't help thinking she might be quite shady.
I wondered if she was at all piny.

Before I could open my mouth,
She shouted, "For you, I have some sprites!"
I headed towards her, to the south,
Past some crisps and tights.

"But how did you know?" I asked,
"Do you want them or not?" she did say.
Silently, the sprites she passed.
Then vanished before I could pay.

As I walked away I hard a crackle
Or was it, perhaps, a hushed cackle