GHOSTMAN HORROR THE CONFESSION BY MARK ANTONY RAINES

 

SHAUN ELI-WWW.BRAINCHAMPAGNE.COM-THE IVY LEAGUE OF COMEDY

 Website -https://www.brainchampagne.com

The ivy league of comedy -https://www.ivystandup.com/videocast-the-ivy-league-of-comedy

YouTube -https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_sbCkETypb4

Stand-up comedian Shaun Eli has rightfully been called one of America’s smartest comics. Whether it’s a story about dining with a vegetarian or successfully fighting a parking ticket, master storyteller Shaun Eli shows you that there’s hilarity in the ordinary if you approach life with a comedic warp. Job interviews? Serving on a NYC criminal jury? How about the Ten Commandments? For just about anything he’s experienced Shaun has a hilarious story at the ready. 

With a sense of humor that’s both cheerful and universal Shaun has headlined shows on five continents. His jokes have been quoted everywhere from the New York Post to Readers Digest to Healthcare Finance News. In both Reform Judaism magazine and the Christian Science Monitor, where he was the subject of the cover story. He’s been featured on CareerBuilder.com and CNN, in local papers like the Scarsdale Inquirer and the Asbury Park Press and in the college papers the Yale Daily News and the Daily Pennsylvanian. Even in The Journal of Irreproducible Results, a scientific humor magazine. Yes, there is one. And his group The Ivy League of Comedy^sm was the subject of a front-page story in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

More than just smart, funny and clever, Shaun is determined to express his opinion passionately, not surprising for someone who wrote his first satirical essay at age ten. When profiled in Fortune magazine “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno quoted one of Shaun’s jokes, citing it as an example of the type of “smart comedy” he’s happy to include in his opening monologue. Jay and other late-night hosts used Shaun’s topical material in their monologues for almost two decades.

Outside the world of comedy Shaun was a world-class athlete in two obscure sports (rowing and dragon-boat racing), worked as a lifeguard instructor and is an instrument-rated pilot. He is also an award-winning economic forecaster who once sold his car to a hitchhiker.

Shaun is a graduate of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. You can watch his videos and read some of his writings, including satirical political essays and hundreds of jokes he’s written for late-night television, on his web site BrainChampagne.com where his slogan “Brain Champagne: Clever Comedy for Smart Minds^sm” rings true.

The ship id doomed

 

Dont scream by mark antony raines

 

GHOSTMAN HORROR ALIVE BY MARK ANTONY RAINES

 

Wolf's howl;Vampire bat wings flutter silently in the wind ;the ghostman rises from his slumber of the dead to bring you a tale of being buried alive. 

                                               

Being afraid of being buried alive is known as Taphophobia. Being buried alive is the fear of being placed in a grave while still alive as a result of being incorrectly pronounced dead. I awake to find myself confined in an oblong box, it is as dark as a plutonium sky. My breathing is becoming shallower. I become stressed out, I remember from my training as a doctor that an average resting adult, their body will convert oxygen at a rate of about 550 L per day, or 23 L an hour. That means that I have in the coffin seven hours to make a move. Deep down in my subconscious, I realised after all my screaming and panicking that my carbon dioxide is replacing the last dregs of my life bringing oxygen, I begin to experience blackouts, I slip into a coma. My heart stops beating, I am dead. My murderer at first thought about tossing me into an empty grave but thought it was not a gruesome enough death.My murderer thought it be better to bury me alive , it was simple to do by spiking my drink to knock me out then place my body in the back seat of the car and drive to a remote location.My murderer makes sure to bury me bout 2,775 L of soil on top of you — a sweet 3697 lbs of dirt.Which while not breaking my bones.Then the murderer imagines the weight of the dirt will slowly constrict the my chest, making it harder to breathe. And things start to go fuzzy — oxygen is in short supply — the mouth and nostrils will fill with soil, making breathing the air available between particulates impossible,I will be dead. 

Before I  die i wonder who will remember me and will i end up in Heaven or Hell.

The ghostman crackle s and lays back down in his coffin and as the lid slowly closes he turns  and says.

"Don't have too many nightmares  my children "

GHOSTMAN HORROR THE CONFESSION by mark antony raines

                             

Wolf's howl;Vampire bat wings flutter silently  the wind ;the ghostman rises from his slumber of the dead to bring you a tale of what happens when a girl confessed a murder. 

The scenery opens with a young blonde woman by the name of Mary Jane is standing anxiously outside the police station. 

Mary  Jane steps inside the door and walks up to the reception desk and gets the attention of the sergeant behind by saying. 

"I wish to report a murder "

The police sergeant asked her to sit down and wait and what seemed to take ages ;two detectives then take her  to  a room marked witness statement room in which were three chairs and a table and on the table and recording device. 

Mary Jane  stares into space and for a brief moment  does not remember how she was now seated in front of the police station interview room. Mary Jane just knows she has something very important to do before she can tell her tale she has to make them  believe her. The detective opens the door to the interview room, inside are three chairs a table and a recording device and a fellow police officer holding a pen and pad. The interview starts."Please state your name and the reasons why we are being interviewed by us "My name is Mary Jane I like to report my murder committed on me by my mother today at 1 pm in her house in Boston, Massachusetts '.The detective and the police officer both look at Mary Jane with a sense of on their faces. Detective to Mary Jane 'You said you witnessed a murder and you are saying it yours, are you just pulling our chain"Mary replied" No sir I about to be murdered by my boyfriend with a crowbar smashing in my skull from behind in the day after I came here"Both officers in unison reply "So you trying to say that a murder that is going to be committed in the future is being told to us today, I am sorry madam but this interview is finished and I suggest you seek medical advice" With that the interview was ended, and Mary Jane asked to leave. Wednesday a.m a call is made to Holland Police Department in Boston, Massachusetts stating a neighbour has heard violent arguments in the flat across the Hall. Police attended the scene of the crime . Laid on the floor in a pool of blood was a woman who had her head completely caved in by the crowbar lying by her side. The officers in attendance found a purse in the victims pocket inside was a referal to medical help give to a Miss Mary Jane after her visit to Holland Police Department and a warning stating to stop giving false confession s to the police.                                         

The ghostman crackle s and lays back down in his coffin and as the lid slowly closes he turns  and says.

"Don't have too many nightmares  my children "

GHOSTMAN HORROR DOGNAPPED BY MARK ANTONY RAINES

 Wolf's howl;Vampire bat wings flutter silently in the wind ;the ghostman rises from his slumber of the dead to bring you a tale of what happens if you pick the wrong subject in tonight s tale Dognapped. 

I was walking along besides my walker on my lead:I enjoyed this walk as it brought a array of various smells of the neighbourhood. 

Suddenly my dog walker was jumped upon by a couple of rough looking brutes whom one wrapped the lead around my mouth so I was unable to protect myself and I bundled into the  back of  a van with others like me ;we were unable to see put as the windows were as black as a plutonium night. 

The journey was long and bumpy and my fellow canine friends were getting restless and fearful. 

The van stopped and the brutes put as all in a dank dark  cellar chained to the wall and our mouths muzzled. 

The brutes walked up the winding creaky staircase bragged about the riches both would gain from the ransom s to the worried owners. 

I sat in the cellar waiting for the  call from my master of the night to exact my revenge on my own part and my family. 

The full moon rises it's beams glitter through the creaks of the covered cellar window s. 

My body begin s to shudder  I let out a unheard almighty howl the transformation had began; my four legs began to become hum limbs; my head loses its can nine features and become so more human. 

I was now stood upright and with supernatural strength I broke my chains and that of my family. 

I send thought s into  my canine  friends who followed me up the creaky stairs each crawling making as less noise as possible. 

The two brutes were deep in the sleep sent by the Sandman; I asked my friend said to surround thier beds .

I spoke "Excuse me Gentlemen but going to have to inform you that tonight is your unlucky night as I have yet again become a man and my family are ready to exact thier revenge on you "

With this the dogs all leaped on the two brutes and ripped and gnarled at thier screaming souls and when all was left were  bones :No blood as this was all lapped up.

The man who was a dog opens the front door and releases his friend s back to be with thier beloved owners. 

The man saw that the dawn of a new day was to begin time to turn back to a dog and to roam free until next time. 

The ghostman crackle s and lays back down in his coffin and as the lid slowly closes he turns  and says.

"Don't have too many nightmares  my children "