13.06.2017 ATTENDED FUNERAL OF MY MUM BARBARA ANN RAINES

Yesterday i started the day by getting up at 5.30am as par normal but with a sense of knowledge of was going to say goodbye to my mum. For the  journey i had to hire a rental car which my step daughers boyfriend drove to from Holsworthy to Southend on Sea essex and back in  same day .T he journey up ran very well untill hit a127 road towards Southend as usual traffic hold ups met we got to Southend around 2.30pm so mark drove down to Southend seafront to see the sights and pier.T hen we went to Sutton road crematorium Southend and waited in car park area untill others  arrived, i first saw  my uncle and auntie and my niece and boyfriend then i saw jo and her husband and Georgia then jayne and John and James, nicky and tony,xanthia, peter and girlfriend came later think had car trouble. Then the person doing the service Emma came and said hello, As usual you feel strange in situation as dont know what to expect or dicuss with others, saw my auntie Denise and husband and one of her sons nick then the funeral car came and we went into the chapel. Seeing the coffin was hard as then hit me our mum was no longer around we listened to the service i managed to get  the inner strength to  say my words to our mum,songs were played, poetry spoken, then it was time for the final goodbye which i took badly inside then we went outside to see the flowers. Then we went to restaurant for a meal were i was just unable to find the strength to find effort to speak to some who were making less of an effort, no names this time,then left to go back home, i only said a quick goodbye due to feeling like crap.O n journey home was diverted a couple of times, a hard and long day  which i did for the love of my mum who i will miss a lot, love you mum from your son mark