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INT. DALEK SPACESHIP - NIGHT
A group of DALEKS are gathered around a large screen, watching a transmission from EARTH. They see a man with a bow tie and a fez, holding a sonic screwdriver. He is the DOCTOR.
DOCTOR: Hello, Daleks. I know you're listening. I have a message for you. Stop your invasion of Earth or face the consequences.
DALEK 1: It is the Doctor! He is our enemy! He must be exterminated!
DALEK 2: Exterminate! Exterminate!
DALEK 3: Silence! We have a plan to deal with him. We have located his companion, Amy Pond. She is on board this ship.
DOCTOR: What? Amy? Where is she? What have you done to her?
DALEK 3: She is our prisoner. She will be converted into a Dalek.
DOCTOR: No! You can't do that! Amy, can you hear me? Amy!
AMY (voice over): Doctor? Doctor, is that you? Help me!
DALEK 3: If you want to save her, Doctor, you will have to surrender yourself to us. Come to our ship and we will exchange her for you.
DOCTOR: You know I can't do that. You'll kill us both.
DALEK 3: Then she will die. And so will you. And so will every living thing on Earth. We have a bomb that can destroy the planet. We will detonate it unless you comply.
DOCTOR: You're bluffing. You don't have a bomb.
DALEK 3: We do. Behold!
The screen shows an image of a large metal sphere with wires and lights attached to it.
DOCTOR: That's not a bomb. That's a disco ball.
DALEK 3: It is not a disco ball. It is a bomb.
DOCTOR: No, it's not. It's a disco ball. Look at it. It's shiny and round and has little mirrors on it.
DALEK 3: It is a bomb disguised as a disco ball.
DOCTOR: Why would you disguise a bomb as a disco ball?
DALEK 3: To confuse our enemies.
DOCTOR: Well, you've confused me. But not in the way you think. You've confused me with your stupidity.
DALEK 3: We are not stupid. We are superior.
DOCTOR: Superior? Ha! You're pathetic. You're nothing but tin cans with plungers and egg whisks.
DALEK 3: How dare you insult us! We are the supreme beings of the universe!
DOCTOR: Really? Then why do you always lose? Why do I always beat you?
DALEK 3: You do not beat us. You merely delay our victory.
DOCTOR: Victory? What victory? You've never won anything in your entire existence. You've only caused death and destruction and misery wherever you go.
DALEK 3: That is our purpose. That is our destiny.
DOCTOR: No, it's not. It's your choice. And it's a bad one. A very bad one.
DALEK 3: Enough! We will not listen to your lies any longer! We will exterminate you and your companion and your planet!
DOCTOR: No, you won't. Because I have a plan too. A better plan than yours.
DALEK 3: What plan?
DOCTOR: This plan!
The Doctor presses a button on his sonic screwdriver and the screen goes blank.
DALEK 3: What did he do?
DALEK 2: He cut off the transmission.
DALEK 1: He is trying to escape.
DALEK 3: No matter. He cannot escape us. We will find him and destroy him.
The Daleks move towards the door of the room, but it is locked.
DALEK 3: Open the door!
The door does not open.
DALEK 3: Open the door!
The door still does not open.
DALEK 3: Open the door!
The door remains closed.
DALEK 2: The door is jammed.
DALEK 1: How?
DALEK 2: Look!
The Daleks look at the door and see that it has been sealed with glue and glitter.
DALEK 1: Glue and glitter?
DALEK 2: Yes. Glue and glitter.
DALEK 3: What is the meaning of this?
DALEK 2: It is a trap.
DALEK 3: A trap?
DALEK 2: Yes. A trap.
DALEK 3: Who set this trap?
DALEK 2: The Doctor.
DALEK 3: The Doctor?
DALEK 2: Yes. The Doctor.
DALEK 3: How do you know?
DALEK 2: Because he left a note.
The Daleks look at the wall and see a piece of paper stuck to it. It reads:
"Dear Daleks,
Sorry to leave you in a sticky situation, but I had to rescue Amy. She's fine, by the way. She's with me now. We're on our way to the TARDIS. Don't worry, we'll be back soon. We have a surprise for you. A big surprise. A very big surprise. You'll love it. Well, you won't. But we will.
Love,
The Doctor
P.S. Enjoy the disco ball."
DALEK 3: What does he mean by a surprise?
DALEK 1: I do not know.
DALEK 2: I do not know either.
DALEK 3: We must find out.
The Daleks try to break the door, but it is too strong.
DALEK 3: We are trapped!
DALEK 1: We are trapped!
DALEK 2: We are trapped!
Suddenly, they hear a loud noise from above.
DALEK 3: What is that noise?
DALEK 1: It sounds like music.
DALEK 2: It sounds like disco music.
They look up and see the disco ball hanging from the ceiling. It starts to spin and flash lights.
DALEK 3: It is the bomb!
DALEK 1: It is the bomb!
DALEK 2: It is the bomb!
The disco music gets louder and louder. The lights get brighter and brighter. The Daleks start to panic.
DALEK 3: Exterminate! Exterminate!
DALEK 1: Exterminate! Exterminate!
DALEK 2: Exterminate! Exterminate!
They fire their weapons at the disco ball, but it has no effect.
The disco ball explodes in a burst of glitter and confetti.
The Daleks are covered in glitter and confetti.
They stop moving.
They stop talking.
They stop living.
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The end.
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