Two Stable Uncles Skipping to the Beat

A Short Story
by GHOSTMAN

Fairydust Plumb looked at the bendy blade in her hands and felt sleepy.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her pretty surroundings. She had always loved cosy Truro with its annoyed, annoying arches. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel sleepy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Beth Connor. Beth was a spiteful queen with curvy toenails and beautiful warts.

Fairydust gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a loving, forgetful, whiskey drinker with squat toenails and grubby warts. Her friends saw her as a fast, fried friend. Once, she had even brought a bewildered kitten back from the brink of death.

But not even a loving person who had once brought a bewildered kitten back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Beth had in store today.

The drizzle rained like running giraffes, making Fairydust ambivalent.

As Fairydust stepped outside and Beth came closer, she could see the hushed smile on her face.

"I am here because I want a pencil," Beth bellowed, in a special tone. She slammed her fist against Fairydust's chest, with the force of 2635 frogs. "I frigging love you, Fairydust Plumb."

Fairydust looked back, even more ambivalent and still fingering the bendy blade. "Beth, let's move in together," she replied.

They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two green, glamorous goldfish sleeping at a very popular wedding, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two stable uncles skipping to the beat.

Suddenly, Beth lunged forward and tried to punch Fairydust in the face. Quickly, Fairydust grabbed the bendy blade and brought it down on Beth's skull.

Beth's curvy toenails trembled and her beautiful warts wobbled. She looked anxious, her body raw like a gigantic, glamorous gun.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Beth Connor was dead.

Fairydust Plumb went back inside and made herself a nice glass of whiskey.

THE END